tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68462414922248616402024-03-05T06:04:11.361-08:00Holiday MadnessDon Grigwarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891105796912621378noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846241492224861640.post-64698620009645061792016-05-04T22:52:00.001-07:002016-05-05T15:45:45.230-07:00<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">A Penny a Day/ Here We <o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Go ‘Round the Mulberry Bush<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">A Dramedy in One Act <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">by Don Grigware<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Characters:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Penny
Jocelyn</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> – a woman in her early 70s. Penny is a recovering
alcoholic who is suffering from Hepatitis C. In spite of her health issues, she
has a <i>joie de vivre</i> that rarely
quits. She is on a variety of meds and depends on social security to pay her
monthly bills. She is currently living in the apartment on Section 8. The meds
cause many mood swings but she maintains an infectious sense of humor about her
condition. She has three problematic children, and the Jocelyns are indeed a
strongly dysfunctional family. Penny has a loud, hearty laugh reminiscent of
Colleen Dewhurst. She paints and writes poetry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie
McFee</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> – an actor originally from New York via Ohio who is
Penny’s neighbor. He is about 51. He is gay, funny and tries to accept Penny
and her family. When we first see him, he is grieving over the recent loss of
his partner of 17 years, Andy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sam
(Samantha) Knight</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> - Penny’s oldest child is a divorced woman
about 45. She is a single mother with one daughter in her early teens. She is
plain but pretty, bright and in denial concerning her drinking problem. She is
constantly restless and rarely sees eye to eye with Penny.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jamie
Jocelyn</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> – Penny’s other daughter in her 30s. She is a lesbian,
but dates both men and women. She is a drug user, alcoholic and has been
arrested for illegal drug dealing. She is studying to be a paramedic. She is
currently clean and sober, but is on and off in her relationship with her mother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mike
Jocelyn</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> – Penny’s son, the middle child between Jamie and Sam,
in his late thirties. He is a talented pianist, insecure and lost in a world of
drugs and alcohol. He currently lives with two women and is pleasant on the
outside, but very quiet and self-absorbed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Robbie
Jolly</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> – Penny’s current boyfriend, in his early 60s. A mama’s
boy, but definitely not gay! He is loud and can be terribly rude and
self-centered; he is very flirtatious with all the women. Like Penny he is a
recovering alcoholic. He treats Penny like his toy and is prone to
irritability.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Tatianna
Day</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
– Penny’s grand-daughter and Sam’s 13 year-old daughter. She is smart and savvy
for her age Sadly, she is caught in a custody battle and comes off exceedingly
unhappy. She loves Penny, but has to please Sam as well, so may frequently
switch sides.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The
entire action of the play takes place in Los Angeles in Penny Jocelyn’s apartment
and back porch. The play begins on Christmas Eve and follows through to early
Christmas morning,1997. The last two scenes take place in January,1998</span><i style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">.</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have found the mystery</span></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">of
quiet souls</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">that have continued<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">on despite the dark night<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">and cold winds<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">that beset us all<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">In that time of seasons<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When all doors close<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And silent together<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">We no longer suppose<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And there you are<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And here you go<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So we leave<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And become as rain, falling again<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">upon this earth<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Do you hear? Do you listen?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The joy of life, the truth in living<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">As rain dancers gather<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">to applaud in bringing<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">the incredible lightness of being.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">-<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Paula Jalsevac<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> 1<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">As
lights rise on Scene 1, we are in Penny’s semi-noisy apartment.</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> <i>The large one bedroom has a few guests stationed in the kitchen, living
area and porch. Eddie has been there about five minutes and is nursing an egg
nog near the piano.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Egg nog, Eddie?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Oh, I’ve got enough.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: You never have enough on Christmas
Eve. Cheers! (she pours another ladle in his brimming cup.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: You’re too much!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (putting her arms around him while
licking egg nog off the ladle) Of course I’m too much! I wouldn’t be throwing
this bash, if I weren’t! Except, goddamn-it, where in the hell are the guests?
They’re late. (rushes to door and throws it open) Party! Party! Merry
Christmas! Free food! Free booze! Come one, come all! (looks back in) Nobody
home! How nice and cheery for them!
(goes to kitchen, where her daughter Sam is cooking) Sam, peek in at the
turkey. That smell is driving me crazy! Check it, it must be time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Mother, would you let me take care of
the cooking…and the worrying?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: How can I when you’re burning my oven
and dirtying up my kitchen! Look at this mess!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Robbie, Penny’s boyfriend, also an AA
member, is enjoying himself. He sips on what he calls a diet soda.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: “Here we go ‘round the mulberry bush,
the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush” (does a little jig as he sings) Wanda,
for Christ’s sake, will you come over here and keep daddy company and leave
Legs to do the turkeying!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Don’t call me Legs, Robbie!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: (grabs Sam around the waist and
starts a little cheek to cheek with her right in front of the oven) It’s
Christmas, Legs! It’s my one day to
howl. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Give a man a break! (He lets out as fierce
howl, scaring Eddie who has not expected such raucous behavior.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I’ll break your goddamn head, if you
don’t get away from my daughter!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: That’s the first bright thing you’ve said
today, mother. Thank you. Robbie, get out of my kitchen!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Her kitchen! Will you listen to that
crap!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Jamie, Penny’s other younger daughter,
barges in from the veranda.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie:
O.K., sis, let’s do this turkey right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: My turkey will be perfect. You whip the
potatoes and we’ll be in great shape!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I doubt that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Hush, ma! We’re here to serve you.
Now, be a good girl, sit down and be quiet!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: You heard them, Wanda.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: One word out of you and…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: And what? …(He grabs Penny and gives
her a big smooch.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Mmmmm. That’s tasty. What have you
laced that drink with? (They kiss.) Vodka or…shit, it tastes like tequila.
There’s no tequila in this joint. Goddamn, did you bring tequila?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: I’m clean and sober, remember? It’s a
fruit-flavored diet pepsi. (They all laugh except Eddie, who sits quietly.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Fruit, my ass!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: And some coconuts thrown in for good
measure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Coconuts, Rob? (shaking her boobies at
him) These are the only coconuts here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Let’s not get too vulgar!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">3<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Vulgar? You weren’t complaining last
night, honey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Do I ever? (He kisses her again,
quickly this time.) I need a cigarette. Eddie, care to join me?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Sure, Robbie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (noticing Eddie’s melancholy) C’mon,
Eddie, don’t smoke! Come over and have a bite! (She points to the table near
the entrance.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: No. I’ll wait for the others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: At the rate Rob is going, there won’t
be any ham or deviled eggs left for anyone!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: I’m a growing boy, what can I say!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: You’re a pig! Mike should be here
soon, and he’ll serenade us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: You told me he gives piano lessons.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Used to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: What does he do now?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Do whom or what? (Robbie laughs.)
(pause) Sorry, Eddie. He drinks. Shoots up with Nina every chance he gets.
(shooting a glance at Robbie) He’s an addict. Why lie about it? I’m clean and
sober 8 years… and he’s a goddamn addict!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Tell ‘em, Wanda! C’mon, Eddie! Let’s
light up!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Who is this Wanda? A nickname,
obviously, but where did it come from?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: From the movie <i>Barfly</i>. Ever since <i>Barfly</i>,
Robbie’s nick named me Wanda.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Faye Dunaway played her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Real wanton woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: She certainly sacrificed her beauty
for that part. She didn’t wear an ounce of makeup.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">4<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny:
But still beautiful, makeup or not! (she looks in the mirror) What can I
say, some of us have just got it naturally while others have not. (She laughs
uproariously at herself like Martha in <i>Viriginia Woolf</i>.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Wanda, oh Wanda, where is the Christmas
music? Let’s put on the stereo until Mike gets here. (He puts an album of
carols on, and then proceeds to the veranda with Eddie.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Don’t be long, boys! Mike will be here
soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(On the veranda):<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Pen tells me you lost your
significant other last week. I’m so, so sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Thanks. (Robbie lights up and uses his
lighter to light Eddie’s cigarette.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: How long have you known Penny?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: For a few months. Andy, my partner,
befriended Penny and she used to come over to our apartment to visit him. He
was a veteran and had a motley assortment of meds on hand. Penny quickly caught
on and used to ask Andy on occasion for a Tylenol with codein or a valium. I
used to kiddingly call him her supplier in the building. She came over quite
regularly, and he usually obliged her, if he had extra.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: That bitch! And she swears she hasn’t
touched a single pill… except, of course what the doctors give her for her
condition. You know she has Hepatitis C, don’t you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Oh yes. We all know. Penny has been
pretty frank about her illness. Brave lady!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Very. I kid her all the time, but
she’s a fun gal and can take it. Hard to believe that she’s as sick as she
really is. It must be hard for you, all alone at Christmas without…did you say
his name was…Andrew?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Yes. Andy. Yeah, I ordered our
Christmas tree the night before he died. It was delivered and is still sitting
there in the apartment without a single decoration on it. I haven’t had the
motivation to do anything but feel sorry for myself. Penny pinned a note to my
door this afternoon and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">5<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">invited me to come over. I didn’t want to. I
hardly know any of you. But I felt I needed to get away from there for a while.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Well, it’s good that you did. Where
else can you get food, good company and music – if Mike ever gets here – all on
the same night?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (barging through the French doors)
It’s damp out here. You’re willing to catch a fuckin’ cold just to have a few
drags of those cancer sticks? (She puts her arms around Eddie.) I’m glad you
came over. Was it the threat in my note?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: What threat?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (starts laughing at the top of her
lungs) I told him if he didn’t come, I’d call the cops and turn him in as a
producer of kiddie porn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: You know, that’s pretty god damn
lucrative. Maybe we should look into it, Wanda?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: You only have to go down the hall and
talk to that hippie sleazebag with the long beard in apartment 206. It’s his
studio, for Christ sake!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: You’re kidding! In this… (tongue in
cheek) <i>classy complex</i>?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Well, I’m Section 8, so it ain’t that
classy! It’s a haven for losers!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I beg your pardon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Well, someone has to be different. It
might as well be you, sweetie. Anyway 206 scares me. Every time my granddaughter
comes over, I have to make sure she stays far away from there. He spies in the
halls and loves young girls her age. Jesus, I’m freezing. Put those cigs out
and let’s go in and party! (They all go in.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny:
(yells at the top of her lungs) …We need Mike. Where are Mike and that <i>god damn </i>Nina? I could live nicely
without her. She’s enough to make me want to throw up. How he can live with
that child boggles the mind. Wait ‘til you meet her, Eddie! You’ll see how
right I am! (Penny crosses to kitchen and Jamie sits on the piano bench next to
Eddie, who has just sat down there.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: So, how goes it? Sorry about your
loss. I’m Jamie, by the way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">6<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Thanks, Jamie. Eddie. (He puts his
hand out.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: What will you do now?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Survive alone, I guess. I’ve been on
my own before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (who has been watching them whispers
to Robbie) Jamie’s gotten so goddamn butch with that haircut; she looks like a
truck driver.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: What do you do, Jamie?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Phone sales.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Oh!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (crossing to the porch door, stops and
whispers to Eddie) <i>Adult</i> porn. (Eddie
has all he can do but to burst out laughing.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I mean, oh…how interesting! Do you do
well at it? It’s frustrating I would imagine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: I’ve only been at it two days…we’ll
see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Oh…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: What about you? What do you do?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I teach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Talk about frustration. How do you
stand those little brats?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: How do you know I teach kids?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Is there any other kind of student?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: (stupefied) Adults. I teach adults.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: What do you teach them?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: ESL. I teach them ESL.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (passing by again) That’s English as a
Second Language.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: I know what it means, ma!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">7<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (whispers to Robbie) She called me <i>ma</i>. She wants something pretty bad.
She’s trying to get on my good side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Wanda, please! Control yourself! It’s
Christmas!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (glares at him) (loudly, to everyone)
We’ll have music soon. Mike will be here
soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Tell me about Mike.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Just wait ‘til you see him. You’ll
fall in love at first sight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Don’t know if I’m ready just yet?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Just teasing, doll! But you’re gonna
love him. I hope he’s not bringing that girl Nina; she like a two-year old.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Where did he meet Nina?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: In some sleazy bar.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: That’s where we met.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: That was years ago. You know damn
well, you met me at an AA meeting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: re-met.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: What?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: I re-met you. I met you again. It is
the second time around for us!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: My mother always said: <i>the
second time’s a charm</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: I knew there was a reason I liked
this man (pointing to Eddie). (doorbell rings once, then repeatedly.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: They’re here at last!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I’m really looking forward to meeting
Mike. (knocks at the door)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: It’s open. Come in!! (Mike enters
alone. He is swaying somewhat, inebriated. Mike is distinguished looking in his
late 30s.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">8<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Ladies and gentlemen, my son Michael
Jr., pianist extraordinaire. (to him) Boy do you have a load on! Where’s Nina?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Nina? (pause) I don’t know…and I don’t care.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I hope she’s gone for good. She
destroys you. (aloud) OK, OK, you’re finally here, so we can have some
Christmas music! You know Robbie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: How’s it going, pal? Merry Christmas!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Same to you, Robbie. (They hug.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Mike, my neighbor Eddie McFee.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: A great pleasure!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Nice to meet you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Eddie’s friend Andy passed away last
week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Wanda, couldn’t you wait?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: What do you mean?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Well, you don’t usually say <i>Hi! This is my friend Eddie. He’s gay, and
his boyfriend just died</i> all in one breath! I mean let Mike at least take
off his jacket! (Robbie and Penny exchange dirty looks.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: So sorry. Hope you’re doing OK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I’m doing the best I can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: It gets better, dear. Give it time!
(offering sincere comfort to him) Yes, it surely will. (throws her arms around
him) Andy had chronic heart and lung diseases, Mike. So, stop smoking NOW!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: How old was he? (to Eddie)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: 47.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Too young!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Is there ever a right age to go?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">9<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: This is too depressing. (looks at Mike) We need relief! Let’s hear
that good ole’ music! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Merry Christmas, everyone! (He deposits
an armful of presents under the tree.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Everyone: Merry Christmas, Mike!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Tatianna, Tatie for short, Penny’s
granddaughter comes in from the bedroom. She sits in front of the stereo and
starts going through her grandma’s CD collection.) Hi, Uncle Mike. (He kisses
her.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: What’s up, Tatie? Mike is going to
play soon, so leave the CDs alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: (sits next to Tatie on the floor)
How’s grandpa?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Tatie: Disgusting! How did you live with him
growing up? You’d think his wife Candy was a Playboy bunny! She’s 60 and he
still treats her like a little doll. I can’t sleep at night. Through the
bedroom wall I can hear their mattress springs squeaking away! Yuck! They’re
supposed to be role models for me! They make me want to puke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (sits next to Eddie) In case you can
overhear what she’s saying, my ex remarried Candy and Tatie lives with them. I
wish I had room for her here permanently. She needs better surroundings while
she’s growing up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: How old is she?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: 13…going on 40. Unbelievably wise for
her age! I wish I could give her a good home! (Eddie looks and takes in Penny’s
sincerity.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Tatie, be tolerant! He’s your
grandfather!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Tatie: Tolerant? Their behavior is gross. And
they have the nerve to criticize me. Grandma, where did you put my Britney
Spears?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Can’t you see that grandma is talking.
This is Eddie. Maybe he’ll teach you to speak Spanish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Tatie: I don’t want to learn Spanish. No,
gracias.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">10<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: That’s pretty good. Your
pronunciation, I mean. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Tatie: (pretty much ignoring Eddie) What did
you do with my Britney CD?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: It’s in my drawer in the bedroom. You
don’t need to listen to that now. Uncle Mike is going to play Christmas carols
soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Tatie: Yuck!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: No backtalk, smartass! It’s almost
time for dinner. Wash your hands!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Tatie: But I want to listen to Britney
Spears!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: There’s no place for goddamn Britney
Spears on Christmas Eve. Diana Krall,
yes; Britney Spears, NO!! Go wash up!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Tatie runs into the bedroom and slams the
door shut.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: (to Penny) Now see what you’ve done!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: She’s a kid. She’s got to have someone
take enough interest in her, to teach her proper manners.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: I’m her mother and I suppose I have no
interest in her?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Of course, you have no interest in
her. You’re too busy drinking to even notice that the poor kid is alive!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: I don’t need to hear this. Dinner’s
almost ready. Jamie, would you put out the plates? I’ll go talk to Tatie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: You do that! Go play mother for a
change! I’m tired of mothering her!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Don’t you mean smothering? You think you
have all the answers. You really made me feel good as a kid, didn’t you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: (interrupts) Sam, not now!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: No, she loves to put on a show in front
of company! Stop airing our dirty laundry in front of strangers, mother!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: There are no strangers in this room.
Eddie is like family. (She laughs long and hard.)…There are no secrets here.
Even your dad thinks <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">11<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">you’re an incompetent mother. Why are you
living here and Tatie’s with him? Huh?HUH? Because we won’t allow her to live
with you in your condition, that’s why!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: You are despicable! (She storms out of
the room and slams bedroom door.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: C’mon, Wanda! Let’s carve that
turkey. I’m starving!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: You’re always starving. You pig! (All
of a sudden she realizes the gravity of what she has said and puts her arms
around him.) I’m sorry, hon! Really I am; it’s the drugs they’ve got me on.
It’s the ATAVAN talking, not me! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: We know ma, we know. (to all)
Everything’s almost ready.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Ah, the little dinner hostess! And since
when have you been cooking? You could never even open a can of tuna! And, by
the way, you reek of smoke and beer!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Ma the big kidder! (She kisses the top
of Penny’s head.) (whispers to her) Can’t we be on decent terms for once? It’s
Christmas, for Christ sakes!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (looks heavenwards) Please, let me get
through this holiday, without throwing someone out!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Sam re-enters with Tatie.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: There’s my beautiful granddaughter!
Well, Jamie, is it ready? Is it soup yet, mommie? (She laughs like a kid.)
Eddie, are you hungry? (She helps Jamie and Sam serve the meal.) Come on over
here and give your new family a hand!
DINNER IS SERVED Y’ALL!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(lights dim to show a 20/30 minute lapse.
Jamie and Sam deposit packages and then pick up some from underneath the tree
and then, along with Tatie, are seen leaving by the front door.) (lights back
up)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Well now that my two bitch daughters
have left the premises, maybe we can have some peace and sing some carols. Sam
is going to spend some time with Tatie this holiday…so, we’ll see what happens!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Want to sing, Eddie?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">12<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Sounds good to me. I love a songfest
on Christmas Eve.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Let me sit and warm up a bit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Maybe we can open our presents first?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Later!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: You’re gonna love the gift I got you,
Wanda!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Later, Robbie, later! (She pulls
Robbie to the piano.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Mike is warming up. “Don we now our gay apparel,
Falala lala, lala lala!” is heard. Penny, Robbie and Eddie join in.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Let’s do “The Christmas Song”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Mel Torme? My all time favorite!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Wanda, just for you! (Robbie solos on
the song.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Chestnuts
roasting on an open fire/Jack Frost nipping at your nose/Tiny tots with their
eyes all aglow will find it hard to sleep tonight/They know that Santa’s on his
way/He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh/And every mother’s child
is gonna spy/To see if reindeer really know how to fly/And so, I’m offering
this simple phrase/To kids from one to ninety-two/ Although it’s been said many
times, many ways/Merry Christmas to you!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> (They
all applaud.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Robbie, that was beautiful!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I never knew you could sing like that,
buster. Thank you! (They kiss.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Yes! Tres belle! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: No place for that frog language here.
English, please, ESL teacher!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Whatever you say, Penny! <i>Very beautiful</i>, Robbie!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Oh ma, let’s do the presents. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (grabbing a Santa hat and putting it
on Mike’s head) Hand out the presents Santa and let’s call it a night!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">13<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Wanda, it’s the shank of the evening!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Maybe for you. I’ve had it. I have a
miserable headache.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: I’ve got to hand it to you,
Wanda! You’re never afraid to say what
you feel…you’ve got spunk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Skunks have spunk! Are you
complimenting me or chastising me? With you, one never knows.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Let’s not argue! We’ll open a few
packages and…(He kisses her.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Mike calls out “Here’s one for ma from Jamie
and another one for ma from Sam. Eddie prepares to leave.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (whispers to Mike) Your breath is
fowl. You must have drunk a quart of vodka before getting here!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Let’s not go there, ma! (He continues
to smile.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: This is for family. I should leave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: You are family, Eddie, but if that’s
the way you feel…Merry Christmas. (She stands and pretends to give her best
Tiny Tim impression.) Merry Christmas to All and… to All a <b><i>GOOD NIGHT</i></b>!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(She covers her mouth as if to puke and bolts
out of the room.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: Jesus Christ, Wanda! (Eddie looks
confused, somewhat hurt, yet concerned. Robbie throws up his arms, as lights
fade.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">As
lights come up on Scene 2 it is 5 am Christmas morning and Penny opens the door
for Eddie, who has been knocking furiously… Eddie has thrown himself together,
hair mussed and still wearing slippers… … </span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Didn’t you get to sleep? What’s wrong?
You sounded desperate on the phone. (He hands her a cup of coffee.) Here’s the
coffee you asked me to bring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny
and Eddie sit down and talk as they sip coffee at the kitchen table which is
still piled high with dishes and food from the night before…</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">14<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Thank you. (She raises cup as if in a
toast.) No. I never got to sleep. No sleep!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: What about Robbie? Is he asleep?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I sent him packing. He was drinking
and doing cocaine in the bathroom. I will not stand for that in my house. He’s
nothing but a jackass. I never want to see him again… (lost in thought) What is this, cinnamon?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Huh… oh, Christmas blend…yeah, there’s
cinnamon in it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: It’s delicious. I shouldn’t be
drinking it. It’s off my diet. What the hell, it’s Christmas, and with all that
happened…fuck it! (pause) Oh my God, last night! God help me forget last night!
I was an ass. A total ass!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I kind of thought that flamboyance you
showed is just part of your nature. It can be fun, if not overused.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Penny Overdo should be my name! Heaven
forbid! Don’t tell my therapist what I said or did! I’m supposed to keep a
journal of my behavior. Everything I say and do. I’m sorry if I upset you. I
didn’t mean to throw you out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: You didn’t. I was leaving. I had a
nice time…and it was time to go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I created such a stir with Tatie, with
Sam, with Jamie, even Mike. It’s just natural for me…going…out of control. (She
laughs.) Sam does drive me crazy. I have to learn to surrender and let her find
her own way. God knows, I was never the greatest mother, but I want more for
Tatie than Sam can give her. She drinks. She’s a closeted alcoholic…who won’t
admit she has a problem. When I mention AA she hits the roof. Refuses to
cooperate, but what she has got to realize is that I am CLEAN and SOBER for
(adamant about this) EIGHT YEARS. I can’t have anyone drinking around me.
Sure…within moderation, like at a party, I have to accept the fact that someone
will have a cocktail and I have to be strong, resist… but Robbie was swilling
‘em back last night like there was no tomorrow. And when I caught him doing
coke this morning in the bathroom, that was it. OUT! OUT of my house! I’ve done
that with him, with Sam and with Jamie on more than one occasion. I cannot live
with abuse surrounding me. I have to heal, and need healing people around
me. I’m no saint, Eddie! I’ve had my
days of wine and roses. (She laughs as she starts to remember an <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">15<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">episode from her past.) The good old
Marijuana days! Boy, I sure enjoyed myself. (She laughs herself into oblivion.)
I remember when I left my apartment one night with my girlfriend Angie – I was
in Glendale then – we picked up a couple of sailors in a bar and one of them,
Boyd – that was his name – he had a stash that knocked us cold for 3 whole
days. Oh God, he was gorgeous too! I lost my job at the five and dime for
missing 2 days of work, but man o’ man, did I have a blast! (laughs more)
(pause) Yup, I am no saint, Eddie! I did my share of misbehavin’. I guess I’m
paying for it now, seeing it in my children. Are they the way they are because
of me? We’re taught that we all have free will. You have to want to get better.
I did and I still do. I just wish I could pass along my feelings to them, so
their lives will not turn out like mine has. (She looks at Eddie.) You’re a
fine guy with a good disposition and a great chance to make the most of life. I
know Andy was an alcoholic too. I’m sure you had your suffering with him.
You’re a good person. Relationships?... A crapshoot finding good people! (She
reaches over and touches his hand.) How are you feeling, my dear?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie. (grasps her hand) Lousy right now.
Andy is lying in the morgue at St. Joe’s hospital this very second. I can’t get
his body released.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: What do you mean, sweetie?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I can’t cremate him until I hear from
his next of kin, his cousins in North Carolina. Both his parents are deceased.
The cousins have to call and then give written permission for me to take care
of arrangements. He had no will, and a gay partner is… a curse. We have
responsibilities, but no legal rights to carry them out. The law will not
accept me as his husband. So he lies there cold and alone until I can finally
get something done, which probably won’t be until after the holidays.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Did he leave you any money?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Nothing. He told me the Veterans’
Administration would handle everything. What a crock! He had no pension coming,
nothing. No insurance policy. If I surrender his remains to them after
cremation, they will only guarantee burial. With 500, 000 other veterans in an
unknown place? I don’t think so. I’ll find my own place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Are you sure about those numbers?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">16<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Unknown soldiers. Yes. I won’t bury
him like that. Oh, he’d probably be overjoyed. The eternal party boy! “Lots of seafood on the menu”, he’d say! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Be patient! It will all work out. And
don’t be so bitter! Andy loved you; whenever he mentioned you, his eyes lit up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Really? The problem is I think <i>I loved him</i> too much. He was not always there for me… the way I was
for him. He drank, he cheated on me and I stayed with him. I was always loyal,
in spite of his sins.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Because you loved him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: What about you and Robbie?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I’ll give him a week or so to see the
error of his ways, then talk to him and…unless he comes begging to me for
forgiveness first. It’s happened before. There’s a lot of good in him. He can
be good to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: It will work out the way it’s supposed
to, I guess. …(long pause) I wish I were straight sometimes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: What do you mean? You know you’re
proud to be gay! Where is all that coming from?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: It’s a mess; it’s impossible being gay
in this city… when you have a partner, and you do not share the same name or
you’re not married, it’s worse than hell. We’re both treated like total
strangers, and I can’t do a damn thing about it, but cry and complain! Boy oh
boy, mom never told me life would turn out like this! I sure hope there’s a
change down the line. Marriage Equality. Do you think it will ever happen? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Clinton? Too busy banging his brains
out! Equality in marriage?... I sincerely doubt it. Religion will win out.
Marriage is a heterosexual union meant solely for propagation. I’m not sure
where I stand. All I know is in this our democratic state, illegals are getting
our money and citizens are losing benefits; everywhere you turn, you’re
screwed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I’m not political…never was… and
certainly not religious, any more, but I’d campaign for marriage equality,
that’s for sure! (pause) Not to change the subject, but my stomach is growling.
Do you mind if I have one of these cookies? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">17<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: No. Finish them. Enjoy! I can’t eat a bite. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: That was a pretty good meal last
night, if I do say so. Sam and Jamie really can cook.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I taught them everything they know.
Cook with LOVE!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: What about Jamie?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Jamie needs a controlling influence in
her life right now. At least she’s on the wagon. I know she wants my help…deep
down. I’ll just have to sit and wait for her to open up to me. She’s bisexual,
you know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Does she have a partner?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Maryanne. She hates me. That’s why she
wasn’t here last night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: How could anyone hate you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: You’d be surprised. (she laughs long
and hard)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I wish Mike were gay. Gorgeous,
talented men should all be gay!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: He’d be worse for you than Andy was! I
know about addiction. Andy was an alcoholic and was addicted to meds; Mike? He
drinks himself into oblivion… constantly. It’s amazing that he even made it
over here yesterday. (She starts to cry.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Are you all right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Another piece of paper for my Godbox.
(She grabs a piece of paper.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Godbox?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Part of my therapy. Excuse me, or I’ll
forget to do it later.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: What’s a Godbox?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I write out my failure or frustration
and surrender it to the higher power. It brings temporary consolation. You’ve
got to let go of what you’re feeling and try to move along! It’s difficult; one
can only try!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: But you’re not responsible for Mike’s
behavior. Why blame yourself?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">18<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I have to let go of even the slightest
thought that I might be guilty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I guess I get it. Maybe I should try
it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Why? You don’t have anything to be
sorry about. You’ve done more than well by Andy…(pause) No feeling sorry for
yourself!... I don’t want to dwell on
this any longer… (She suddenly remembers something, gets up, goes into bedroom
and returns with an art canvas.) After I threw Robbie out last night, I started
to work on this again…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: What is it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (She turns art board around so he can
see it.) Does it look like her?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Who? I guess you don’t want to tell
me… Let’s see! That beautiful golden hair – it must be Tatianna. That’s really
good!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Do you think so?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Yes. You’re a really good artist…<i>artiste</i>. The shadings are so real. She’s
going to be a beautiful young lady someday soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: If she makes it through all this
turmoil. It’s her birthday January 5. I love her so much. I wish I had the
money to buy her a new stereo, but I don’t. She has all these Britney Spears
CDs and has no stereo of her own to listen to. Her grandpa won’t let her play
his new wife ‘s…Candy’s; it’s reserved for her classical concertos! And, he’s
too cheap to buy another! At the rate her mother’s going, she’ll never be able
to afford to buy her one either! (She takes a long look at Tatie’s portrait.)
My beautiful Tatie! I want her to have
everything good that life can possibly offer her. She’s so bright and deserves
better. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: She stands up to you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Of course, she’s belligerent. What 13
year-old isn’t these days? (She picks up the painting.) This is my present to
her. I hope she likes it. It means everything to me that she like it!
Everything! She means the world to me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(lights fade)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When
lights come up on Scene 3, it is January 10, 1998 and Penny has called a family
pow wow. Eddie is present as well. Penny and Eddie are <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">19<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">sitting
at the table. Robbie and Jamie nearby. Mike is at the piano bench, and Sam is
making coffee in the kitchen.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Mother, you have never called us
together like this in such a big hurry. What gives?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I saw Dr. James yesterday. The bottom
line is … I need an operation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: What kind of surgery?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: They’ve found a tumor in my liver. A
small one but he says it must be taken care of immediately.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Isn’t surgery dangerous with Hepatitis
C?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: What choice do I have?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Ma, you could do chemo.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: No, I will not do chemotherapy. It
destroyed your aunt Jenny. It killed her. She was in agony twenty four hours a
day. Throwing up, she couldn’t eat or keep anything down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Mother, don’t compare yourself to her.
Everyone is different. Chemo is a way to treat it and keep you alive. Surgery
in your condition is wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Penny, Sam is right. If you have
internal problems, opening you up is only going to complicate matters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbie: I think you should do the chemo. Can
we take a vote here?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: There is no vote. I’ve decided to have
the surgery. I’m going in next week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: So why call us together? You’ve
already made up your mind. You are going to do what you want to do, like
always.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Jamie is right. This is ridiculous.
Tatie needs a ride to her dance class. I have to go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: I have a piano lesson in a bit. I have
to leave soon too. Do whatever you wish, ma. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">20<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Have you thought about how surgery will
weaken you? You’ll need someone to come in every day and help you. I can’t do
that. I don’t have the time. I have to
work and Tatie is my main responsibility now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: It’s about time you wised up!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Let’s not go there again, ma!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: I don’t have time either. Maryanne and
I want to move soon, and we both need to work in order to make that happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (screams at the top of her lungs) YOU
ARE LIVING IN A DREAM WORLD! How can you possibly move on your salaries?
Telephone sales? You’re delusional! Sam,
not to worry! I have asked Eddie to be a caregiver, a part-time one. Now that
Andy has been properly cremated, he has some time he can devote to me, right
Eddie?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Penny, I will help you with whatever
you need, but you never asked me to be a caregiver. I don’t have the skills to
take care of you. You’ll need a nurse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: No. I need someone to clean up around
here, dump the garbage, and heat some soup or toss a salad for me. Not a lot. I
have the papers for you to sign. And you’ll make a little money too. Not a lot,
but something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I’ll think about it. It’s a lot of
responsibility. I’d rather you not have the surgery. I think that’s a mistake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: You never asked any of us to be
caregivers, but you asked Eddie. Does that make sense? You go to a neighbor
before asking your own flesh and blood?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: (yelling in confusion) Didn’t you all
just say you don’t have the time to give me? I knew what you would say, so I
immediately thought of Eddie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: I think that’s great, ma. Eddie will be
a big help to you, and I will stop by when I can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: I’m outa here. Call you, ma!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Me too! If you need a ride to the
hospital, maybe Eddie can give you a ride. See you! (both Sam and Jamie leave,
slamming the front door.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">21<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: (comes over to Penny and kisses her on
the forehead) Do you think I could maybe stay here while you’re in the
hospital? I could give lessons on the piano here and I could help keep the
place in order until you get back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Yes, of course you can stay here.
(Mike kisses her on the cheek and proceeds to leave.) Hold it! I do not want
Nina here; she’s a thorn in your side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: Ma, I told you, I left Nina. Couldn’t
afford her habits anymore. She went home to her family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: Best news I’ve heard in years! She
needs to grow up…and so do you! Take me to the hospital next week?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mike: I’ll call you Monday, ma. Take care,
Eddie!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: See you Mike! (Mike exits, gently
closing the front door.) Penny, reconsider this operation! I don’t have good
feelings about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Penny: I won’t put myself through the hell of
chemo. (She puts her head in her hands.) Oh, Christ! I knew something like this
would come eventually… (pause) (She looks at Eddie.) What other choice do I
have?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(lights fade)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">As the
lights come up on Scene 4, it is January 30, following a memorial service for
Penny, which was held at the home of an AA friend. Penny died five days after
the surgery. The place is a shambles. Furniture has been moved out. There are
books, CDs, papers in stacks on the floor. Sam and Jamie are trying to decide
what they’ll keep and what is to be discarded. Eddie enters to speak with both
of them.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Hey, Eddie! Thank you for speaking at
mom’s memorial. She would have appreciated the kind things you said about her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I felt obligated, as no one spoke
except her friend Mimsy who had known her at AA. I thought one of you would
have said something. And Mike, where was he?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: He took mom’s passing harder than
anyone. He couldn’t face it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">22<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I know he stayed here while she was in
the hospital. I saw him in the hall one day and he was so lit, he didn’t even
recognize me. I said hello, but he just kept on walking. He almost fell down
the stairs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: He wanted to stay here, but who will
pay the rent? He can’t afford it, even with Section 8, and none of us are in a
position to help him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Why should we help him? He’s our
brother, who is supposed to look after us. Fine brother he has been. He’s no
tower of strength; he’s a mess. (Tatie walks in.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Hi, Tatie! I didn’t see you at the
memorial either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Tatie: I didn’t go. I hate death. I just came
by to get my Britney Spears CD.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: (picking up Tatie’s portrait from the
floor and handing it to her) Tatie, are you sure you don’t want this? Grandma
did give it to you for your birthday?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Tatie: Noooooooooo! It sucks. And she didn’t
even frame it. (She throws it down on the floor.) Where is the CD? Oh, here it
is. It better not be scratched. (She puts the CD in a bag and goes to the
door.) I’m going downstairs to grandpa. He’s waiting in the car. He told me to
tell you to get a move on. Candy is cooking dinner and expects all of us to be
home. (She leaves.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Poor kid! This has been so hard on her.
She’s never experienced death before. What are we going to do with ma’s beige
leather coat and those white blouses in her bedroom closet? They’re about the
only decent clothes she had!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: You know, you could give the clothes
to Goodwill. Somebody can use them. There are a lot of needy people out there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Not even the needy would want those
rags! I do want that coat, though! (She proceeds to bedroom to check it out.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: (He picks up Tatie’s portrait from the
floor, looks at it, holds it against his chest, looks at it again…) Sam, do you
mind if I take this? It meant a lot to Penny.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: I don’t want it. Tatie definitely
doesn’t. Keep it in good health!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">23<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I’m going to frame it. (He wants to
say something to Sam, but somehow cannot find the words.) (long pause)…I need
to say something. It’s very hard for me to interfere where I don’t belong. I’m
an outsider, not a member of this family, but there’s one thing I do know.
Penny deserves respect like any other human being on this planet. She has left
us. We need to praise the good intentions in her life. (Jamie re-enters and
listens from the bedroom door.) She may
not have been a perfect mother to you, but she did what she could, at least
during the brief time that I knew her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: (bursting forth from the bedroom)
That’s right, Eddie! You are not a member of this family. You already made your
speech at the memorial. We don’t have to hear again how you felt about our
mother. So why don’t you take that painting and get out of here!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: (firmly, like a teacher to his
students, he holds back nothing!) Clean up your act! Both of you! You and Mike
are capable of so much more! Stop wasting time! Get professional help! Make
some positive changes in your lives!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: It’s none of your business, Eddie. We’ve
heard your two cents... now get out!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:
(He shakes his head in disgust, fighting back tears and goes to the open
door, looks back, taking in a good view of the place.) (sincerely) Good luck!
(He leaves.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: (going back into bedroom, talking as
she goes. She talks loudly from the bedroom.) I never liked him. Asshole!...
has all the answers and he doesn’t even understand the issues. (She comes back in wearing her mother’s beige
leather coat.) What do you think?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: (shrugs her shoulders) It was too young a style for ma. She never
looked good in it. What about the blouses?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Crap! They’re too old-fashioned. I’d
never wear them. I tossed ‘em in a garbage bag! (pause) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Did you stop to think that I might want
to try them on? And the coat?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: You’re still too young for them. As
far as the coat is concerned, (she looks her over) you are a bit heavy in the
hips. It suits me to perfection.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">24<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: (going over to Jamie, grabs hold of her
and slaps her face) You little bitch! Penny’s favorite. She can have anything
she wants.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Oh yeah! (pushes Sam away) What do you
mean, her favorite? She despised me. It was you she cared about. Adored! Her
precious Sam got married, had a kid, gave her a grandchild… did everything that
she wanted me to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Don’t know when to stop, do you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: No, cunt, I don’t! (They lock arms and
start a brawl that ends up with both of them fighting, and knocking each other
to the floor. When they sit up slowly they look at one another… isolated, hurt
and confused. There is no laughter, nor tears, only the realization that time
is against them.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Did you ever find… a will from ma?
Robbie said she was thinking about making one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: A will … for what? She had nothing. No
money. Nothing of any value to leave anyone, except her silly art… and a batch
of unpublished, useless poetry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: I did cash that last disability check.
I forged her signature. (She takes money out of her pants pocket and kisses
it.) It’ll pay February’s rent. Thanks, ma! You were good for something. She
picks up papers from floor, as she stands.)
All these poems she wrote… that make no sense. Junk! (She tosses them
into a waste paper basket.) She gave us
nothing. (She turns on the stereo full blast as she and Sam continue cleaning
up. Sam is on her feet, pulls a flask from her pocket, opens it, takes a swig
and passes it to Jamie, who does the same.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Diana Krall sings in the background.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Thank God this is over. I need a change!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Yeah! No more! (she exults) You can’t give us any more crap,
Penny! (They stare at each other seemingly content.) (Jamie gets broom and
starts sweeping.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: The janitor can do that. Let’s get out
of here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Yeah. They are waiting downstairs.
What about the books?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">25<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Leave them in the lobby. Neighbors will
take them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: Maybe we should come back tomorrow and
finish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: Finish what? It’s the janitor’s job. So,
they’ll hold back the security deposit? Uh, uh. She was Section 8, remember? A
worthless refund! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jamie: The stereo?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sam: A piece of shit. Leave it and those lame
CDs. I don’t want any remembrances. And I don’t want to come back here…ever!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Jamie picks up box of books and heads for
door. Sam follows without even turning around to look. They slam the door on
the way out. Diana Krall continues to sing on the stereo, as lights fade slowly.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Finis.</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Don Grigwarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891105796912621378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846241492224861640.post-56535105860557123172016-05-04T22:44:00.000-07:002016-05-05T15:44:48.605-07:00<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Pray for Fallen Angels<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A comedy in one act</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">by
Don Grigware<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Characters:</span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie
McFee</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> is a 31 year-old actor/teacher who has somehow managed
to get through life so far on his looks and charm. He is unemployed at the
moment. His money? He has a small nest egg, but relies on the kindness of
strangers to make connections. Nice guy but somewhat neurotic, sheltered and oh
soooo sensitive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mr.
William Hickey</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> is a 50+ ish show biz teacher/director/actor
who lives his life for the theatre. He loves people, but is intensely private
and does take to the bottle a bit too often. Not unlike a preacher or
evangelist, he loves to take center stage whenever opportunity knocks. You
would not expect him to ring your doorbell on Christmas Eve. Exceedingly
accident prone!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie
Berke</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> is a 28 year-old actress who is sincere in her approach
to her work, her life and her relationships with others. She cannot tell a lie.
Well…maybe a few white ones. Her honesty and total openness make her very
likeable. She’s a hoot! She’s bigger than life, yet with a heart of gold! So,
what’s her biggest problem? She looks too much like Liza Minnelli and talks
with the comic flair of Bette Midler. She’s compared to them constantly – it’s
become a stigma and she just can’t get hired. Loud and tres, tres flamboyant!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Caroline
Grossman</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> is a senior citizen who manages the
apartment building with an iron fist. She is annoying, irritatingly nosy,
obviously frustrated and a thoroughly obsessive mother underneath, who also shows
an off.the.wall sense of humor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The play takes place from the early evening of December
23 through December 24, 1977 in and around Eddie’s Chelsea apartment on W.15th
street in New York City. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; text-align: center;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">1<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As
the curtain rises, we hear the thunderous shouting of a man and the screeching
of a woman in pursuit of him. At first their voices are heard coming up the
stairs; when Eddie reaches the third floor and Apt. 3B, he proceeds to his door
limping and Roselie is close behind, trying desperately to help him. The entire
action takes place in front of the apartment door. It is about 6pm on Monday
evening, December 23.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: For the last time, leave me alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: But Mr. McFee, I am so terribly sorry. I want to
help.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Haven’t you done enough already?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: But your ankle, it may be broken. You should go
to the hospital and have it x-rayed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (in pain) I don’t think I could walk, if it were
broken. I’m sure it’s just a sprain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Oh my God! A sprain can be worse! You should
elevate your leg! It’s all my fault!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (very intolerant) Yes, it is. How could you not
have seen me coming through the front door? I was right in front of you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Because I had all these packages. I was looking
down to make sure I didn’t stumble over anything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: But you did! Over me! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: You stopped so abruptly, I couldn’t help but
bump into you! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: A cab…a mac truck would have put on the brakes in
time, but, oh no, not you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">2<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: I’m so sorry! I think I could make your ankle
feel better. You need to go in and put it up right away. Please let me help!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Go away! You have done enough damage for one day.
I can take care of myself! (ouuuuu…)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Suddenly the door of Apt. 3A opens and out comes Mrs.
Grossman about to burst with anger.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mrs. Grossman: What the hell is going on here! Is the
building on fire? Why all this noise?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Sorry, Mrs. Grossman, I had an accident. I
sprained my ankle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mrs. Grossman: Well, take it inside. Elevate it and pack
it in ice. It’s your pain, not the entire building’s. (She turns to go in,
then, as if forgetting something, turns back) And fix yourself a good stiff
one. It helps, believe me. Oyyyy! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(She goes in, slamming her door.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Merry Christmas to you too! She’s so unpleasant.
Please let me help you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: No!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: My aunt was a nurse. She taught me a lot about
pain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Really? (He tries to laugh, but is in too much
agony.) If this were a play, the audience would be rolling in the aisles after
my next line. But, you know, I’m such a nice guy, I’ll cut it and refrain from
insulting you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: I’m so miserable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Well you’re doing a great job of spreading it
around. Misery, I mean. (waves a hand at her in a Samantha sort of way) Poof!
Poof! Begone!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">3<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Mrs. Grossman opens her door again and stands with her
arms folded, glaring at Roselie and Eddie, without saying a word.) (He raises
his arms in helplessness, opens his door, goes in, slams it behind him, limps
to a chair and sits down, all the while in agony. He lifts his left leg with
much effort onto another chair. Roselie stands at door outside in tears. Mrs.
Grossman <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">pulls a tissue out of her pocket and hands it to Roselie.
She looks heavenward as if asking for help, before going back inside her apartment.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: (whispering) I’m sorry. I am so sorry! I’ll make
it up to you somehow. Merry Christmas! (She picks up her bags and slowly
leaves.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Merry Christmas?!
I never want to see that crazy woman again, as long as I live! (He puts
his head back as if to take a nap.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Mrs. Grossman comes out of her apartment once again,
looks around and tip toes over to 3B, pulls a glass out of her pocket, puts one
end to her ear and the other against the door and tries to listen. After a few
seconds of hearing nothing, she looks bored and disappointed, makes an obscene
gesture at the apartment door, gives up and goes back to her apartment.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(lights fade)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> As the curtain rises on Scene Two, it is 6 am
Tuesday morning. The furniture in the apartment is sparse, but there is a small
Christmas tree on a table against the wall. It is not decorated and unopened
boxes and bags are on the floor surrounding it. There is a wreath on the front
door. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Offstage:
Eddie is in bed, sleeping when the radio alarm goes off. It triggers radio
station WNYC to kick in. An overly enthusiastic, more to the point, obnoxious
announcer, Georgio Kessler is greeting his public.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Radio
Announcer: Good morning New York. This is your ever loving <i>host with the most</i>… Georgio Kessler wishing you the very merriest
holiday <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">4<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">season
from WNYC. It’s precisely 6am Christmas Eve, and to all you New Yorkers that
are about to rush around shopping like chickens with your<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">heads
cut off, well, all I can say is: you asked for it! Last minute shopping for
presents can be a <i>nachtmare!</i>!!!!!!
Like for sweet little ole grandma who <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">really
wants more than that Whitman Sampler & bottle of Emeraude – c’mon, I mean, give <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">me a break, she’s your grandma, for pity sake, empty your
pockets! (chuc- kles)…Where’s your imagination… and love? Then there’s that
irritating boss, Mr. Commando – I mean, does he really deserve that Old Spice?
Even if it is leftover from last year’s haul. Isn’t a stocking stuffer too darn
good for him? Give him a Hallmark card-unsigned, and be done with it! An eye
for an eye: treat him as he’s treated you this past year. Spend as little as
possible on that loser! Or what about that friend of a friend that is simply
impossible to shop for? He has everything, so what do you get him? What about a
gift certificate for a workout session at a Jack LaLanne? Huh, what do you
think?? Whatever shape he’s in, it’ll make him a hunk to the ladies out there
who still need a date for New Year’s Eve. Look what those workouts have done
for LaLanne! Do you believe he’s in his 70s already? As Ralph Cramden’s old pal
Ed Norton would say, va va va boom! That
friend won’t get his lazy butt off that sofa, you say? Then tell him he’s a
couch potato and needs to kick ass! And give that Sampler to the mail man or
that lonely spinster neighbor. Spread that Christmas cheer around where it’ll
do the most good! Well, rots a ruck anyway, shoppers! I hate to be the one to
admonish you, but, hey, make your list in August next year. You shouldn’t have waited until the 24th of
December. That’s a big no, no, no! And ho, ho, ho to you too! (bigger chuckle)
Just in from our exclusive weather guy Jimbo Hilliard: Expect 6 inches of snow
by Christmas morning. Flurries will start falling before noon today, so if
you’re going out later, be prepared for stormy weather and (starts singing
“White Christmas”) “I’m <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">5<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">dreaming of a …” <b><i>Who said that Christmas is the loneliest time
of the year?</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Eddie enters disheveled, half asleep, half awake and
turns off radio. He is limping, but not as bad as the night before.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Enough bullshit, Georgio. Leave the etiquette tips
to Dear Abby and take a master class in funny! That macho image crap just ain’t
cuttin’ it! (pause) You know I think my foot is a lot better, minor sprain at
worst!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(goes to kitchen to make coffee, and then to living room
area to turn on the stereo. Picks out “Jingle Bell Rock”, starts to play it. It’s
much too loud and Mrs. Grossman comes out of her apartment, in her bathrobe and
slippers, furious and slams on Eddie’s front door.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mrs. Grossman: It’s 6 am. Turn off that infernal wannabe
Christmas music. (Eddie turns it down and yells “Sorry!”) (She turns to audience
before reentering her place.) Whatever happened to “Silent Night”?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Pause. Roselie enters and rings Eddie’s doorbell)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Who in hell? At this hour? UPS? …Nahhh! Too damn
early! But, you never know, it is Christmas Eve. Maybe a special delivery. From
whom??(looks through peep hole in door) What …?
Oh, no! Doesn’t she know when to quit? <b><i>Go away</i></b>! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: (carrying a potted poinsettia plant) Mr. McFee?
Mr. McFee, I’m sorry to bother you so early, but I have a letter for you. It
was left in my box yesterday by mistake. I know it’s early, but I have to leave
for work and I want you to get it. I would have knocked last night but after
what happened…How’s your ankle? I know I’ve said it before, but I’m so sorry!
And then I went out for dinner and didn’t get home until after midnight. Boy,
am I exhausted this morning! I’ll be lucky if I can stay awake at work,
but…that’s right… there’s a party this morning. FAB! I forgot. (looks at <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">6<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">envelope) I thought it might be important… your letter, I
mean. It looks like a Christmas card or invitation or...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (has leaned against the door, already befuddled by
this girl’s aggressive approach) Slip it under the door!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Oh, good, you’re there! I have to hand it to
you. I feel funny about leaving things unattended.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (very impatient) But I’m here. How will it be
unattended?! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: You know what I mean. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Look, enough! I’m not starting off my Christmas Eve
like this. Leave me be! I accept your apology! Merry Christmas! Just leave me
alone! (he waits a while, and when he doesn’t hear anything, thinking she has
gone, he slowly opens the door. She bursts in and hands him the plant.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Oh, bad mistake. To open your door to a
stranger, I mean. Are you sure you can trust me? “Surprise! Merry Christmas”,
said the big bad wolf to little red riding hood. (laughs) You’re an actor, aren’t you? You know how I
know? We both take classes at HB. I’ve seen you in the hall there. Oh…and at
the Cookie Bar.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: OK. Look, this is embarrassing. I’m not
dressed…and<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Don’t worry. I’m used to seeing people in the buff.
I’m an actress, remember? (She turns to look at him.) You’re wearing a bathrobe!!!
That’s hardly undressed! Look, I’m so sorry about our collision last night. Is
your ankle any better?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (impatiently through clenched teeth) It’s better.
I soaked it and then went right to bed. Look, please just leave. Merry Christmas
and thanks for the memory! (He holds up the plant and then puts it down on the
table.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Oh, you’re welcome. It’s the very least I could
do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">7<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Accidents happen. You’re clumsy. I’m clumsy. You
bumped into me. I fell over. My ankle hurts, but I’ll live. Case closed. You
didn’t have to bring me a plant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: (laughs a snorty sort of irritating laugh and
stretches out her hand to give him the letter.) Here, I almost forgot. What a pretty robe. (touches the fabric) What
a nice fabric! Where did you get it? Barney’s?
. .. Was it intheir bargain basement on sale? I just love their sales. I
bought my roommate’s sugar daddy’s Christmas present there. It’s this big ole
solid gold bracelet-looking thing that he puts down here…(she motions to his
privates) Ouch!!! That’s got to be painful, but she insists on him using it.
Talks on and on about how it will enhance their sex life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(He closes his eyes in embarrassment, pretending not to
understand a word.) Well, I have to get to work. I’m a receptionist at ABC
Sports. “Good morning, ABC Sports. May I connect you? This is ABC Sports.”
(pause. She laughs at her own antics.) …
I’m Roselie Berke. (without
giving him a chance to respond. Eddie is
still nonplused.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Eddie… McFee, Rosalie. But you knew my name was
McFee.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: (puts out her hand) Nice to meet you. It’s Rose lie.
Just Rose lie, not Rosa…lie, Rose lie, like the flower.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Roselie. (extends hand, but she’s already off and
looking around))<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: What a nice apartment. It’s so… I mean the
décor, the furnishings, I mean, you don’t have much, but what there is, is <i>choice</i>. Spencer Tracy said that about
Katharine Hepburn in a movie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: <i>Woman of the
Year.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: I beg your pardon. <i>Pat and Mike</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: You’re right! (hates to admit he’s wrong)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: I know my Hepburn and… sports films. ABC Sports!
(thumbs up)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">8<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Right on, ABC!
(reluctant thumbs up)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: It’s a nice empty apartment…with so many
possibilities. (walks around freely, picking up little things) Oh, and what a
pretty tree! But it’s bare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I don’t decorate until tonight. It’s an old family
tradition. We’ve always decorated the tree on Christmas Eve. I still need a
star for the top.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: (watching him like a hawk) May I have a cup of
coffee? I’m still a little hung from last night. (starts to warm up) You sit. I’ll find it. Are you sure your foot
is all right? You’re still limping a bit! (she doesn’t give him time to respond
but keeps on talking) What a drip that Olivier was!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Olivier?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Olivier Lorenzzzz. How’s that for phony baloney?
I should have seen it coming and never accepted a dinner invite from that
cheapskate!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: There’s sugar and milk on the tray, if you take
them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Oh, I like 2 lumps. Sugar, that is! (laughs) No
milk. (eyes tree again. It becomes a fascination for her.) My family has never
had a Christmas tree. My dad was Jewish and my mom, well…a nonbeliever. I
always loved to go over to my friend Val’s house at Christmastime. Well, all
the time, actually. They had the most beautiful tree you could ever imagine. I
mean, it was so big. It stretched way up to the ceiling. How they got all those
ornaments and lights on it, I’ll never know, but they did. Rows and rows of
balls and popcorn garland and twinkle lights. Ahhh…it was always so beautiful. Yours is
tiny, but I guess, once you get…the balls on it and the lights, it’ll be nice.
(She closes her eyes and tries to envision what it’ll look like decorated and
shakes her head in disappointment when she opens them and looks at it.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: My mom was a devout catholic and loved Christmas,
but we lived in an apartment like this, so our tree was always artificial and
small… but it always looked …well, my mom was fussy and insisted on decorating
it <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">9</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">herself. She liked tiny ornaments…she kept things for
years and years and used them over and over again every year. Everything was
handmade and delicate. It had to have all white lights. Only the best for
Delia. She had great taste.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Delia…mmm…pretty! Had great taste? Isn’t your
mom still alive?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: She died last year. October 22. Two months before
Christmas. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Oh, I’m so sorry. You still miss her. I can
tell!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Yes, I do, especially now. This was her favorite
time of the year. (He gets melancholy as he remembers. ) We never had much
money when I <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">was growing up, but I never went without. My parents
always somehow managed to get me what I wanted for Christmas and all year
round. I was a lucky kid. I’m from Massachusetts, by the way, Hampton, Mass.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: San Francisco… My mom hates decorations. Always
has. She hates to be around the house at Christmas. She likes to go to Vegas
and gamble. Goes every year with a girlfriend or by herself, if she has to -
for 2 whole weeks. Smorgasbords and gambling. Bingo and more buffets! What a
bore! I’d go nuts. Imagine, 2 whole weeks of Vegas and casinos. Just the sound
of those slot machines is enough to turn me off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: What about your dad?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Dead.
(nonchalant) As a doornail.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I’m sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Don’t be. He had a great life. Owned his own
business for 35 years. Loved my mom…and me, but knew when he had had enough.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: You mean…he killed…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">10<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Committed suicide. On his fiftieth birthday.
Went off on a business trip and never came back. It took weeks to find his
body. He was in the county morgue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: That’s awful! How did he do it? Oh, that’s
personal. I’m sorry for asking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: That’s OK. We never found out, at least they
never told me. My aunt - his sister - didn’t want an autopsy. He was Jewish and
his family put <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">up such a fuss that his body hadn’t been disposed of
immediately after death that they took over and…that was that. I never even had
a chance to say goodbye to him. My mom was...well, if she was sad, she had a
funny way of showing it. She and my dad no longer slep... (catches herself in
embarrassment)…well… (some remorse here)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: How difficult it must have been for you! (long pause)
Why are we being so morbid on Christmas Eve?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: (sips, slurping)
I’m a survivor above all else! (changes subject) This coffee is too FAB!
How do you make it? I can never get my coffee to taste like this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: My mom’s secret recipe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Boy your mom sure holds a big part of your life!
Even from the grave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (gets defensive) What do you mean? You don’t even
know me. How can you insinuate such a thing! I think you’d better drink your
coffee and leave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: I’m so sorry. Me and my big mouth. I didn’t mean
any harm. I just can’t believe how much you loved your mom. My mom and I hardly
speak. She’s only interested in herself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Really? I find that hard to accept. All moms love
their kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">11<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Not mine. She loves Winifred and blackjack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Is Winifred your sister?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Oh no, her cat. She’s had her forever. She’s got
to be in her ninth life by now! (pauses,
then speaks) I have a great idea. I get off of work at 12 noon today ‘cause
it’s Christmas Eve. I know the best ... Will you be here about 1 o’clock?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Where else will I be? Right here nursing my
wrenched foot and listening to Bing Crosby.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Let me make it up to you. I mean well, I just
open my big mouth too far sometimes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Don’t worry about it! I just don’t think…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Please! Oh, please, please, pretty please!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Well…what is it exactly that you have in mind? I
have a party to prepare for tonight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: I have something I think you’ll love for the top
of that tree. I want to give it to you. Oh, my God, I’m being much too forward.
You must think…I mean I come in here at 6 in the morning and I’m already
inviting myself for Christmas Eve and…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: You don’t have to give me anything really, and no
one has invited you here for Christmas Eve. …but …my mother who has had an
overwhelming influence on my life – as you’ve been so keen to notice – always
taught me to be kind to strangers. So… come by for an eggnog around 2 or 3. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Thanks so much. (gets her coat and goes to the
door) I’ll bring some snacks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: No need to bring anything; there’s plenty! (They
stare at each other, Eddie opens the door, as Rosalie leaves. Once the door is
closed, Eddie <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">12<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">leans in a state of confusion against it and then goes to
stereo, turns it up full volume and gyrates and sings at the top of his lungs.
He is suddenly happy and temporarily forgotten about his injury.) <i>Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock…</i>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Mrs. Grossman rushes from her apartment and slams on
Eddie’s door.)Mrs. Grossman: Stop jingling already! It’s too damn early! (She
whines in Yiddish as she goes back to her apartment. Eddie turns down the
stereo and mimes the words.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(lights fade)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As lights
come up on Scene Three, it’s 3:30pm.
Rosalie knocks on door with shopping bag full of stuff.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: <i>Mr. McFee,
I mean Eddie. It’s me, Roselie. Roselie Berke. I’m here. I’m back! (to herself)
I hope he didn’t forget. Oh well, so big friggin’ surprise, if he did! (She
drops all her bags.) (addresses audience) When was the last time a man did
something – just for me? I don’t know what I expect sometimes. I expect too
much, that’s what. I don’t even know this guy. I mean, he seems nice, certainly
attractive, appears like he might have some talent… worth looking into. I don’t
seem to be able to stop myself. It’s an addiction, like Tootsie Rolls and
Entenmann’s, Ray’s Pizza, chips and those extra-strength Tylenol every night to
help me go to sleep. Sometimes I think I’m a hopeless case. I guess I need
therapy, but, I mean, who can afford it? It’s hard enough being an actress in
this town and paying your rent every month. I’m getting too old to model, and
the way casting directors treat actresses – is pathetic. I mean, those guys
should be lined up in front of a firing squad. If I go into one more audition
and hear, “Please take off your clothes, and don’t forget to remove your bra!”
I’ll puke. And these are for legit roles. But show biz is in my blood. I
remember the first time I gave that look (does her best comic siren pose), they
were hooked and so was I. I want to be a serious actress, and I have to pay the
price, whatever the consequences. “Don’t leave a stone unturned!” Grandma
Berkowski always said. I changed Berkowski to Berke. Berkowski’s too <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">13<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">long
for the marquee! “Yeah, but you don’t know how different things are today,
grandma. Men were more thoughtful</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">, <i>more gentlemanly, moredependable in your day. They didn’t take
advantage of women so much. At least I don’t think they did. Today, the most
interesting men…the best looking ones anyway…usually turn out to be…”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Eddie rushes in behind her. She eyes him.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mr. McFee, you went out. But your foot!? (looks down at
it) You’re walking much better. I mean, your limp, it’s hardly noticeable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Sorry, but this sounds like a drag queen’s take on
<i>The Glass Menagerie</i>. I’m Laura and <i>you’re</i> the Gentleman Caller. “Yes, I’m
clumping less; my foot is feeling much better.” I needed some last minute
things, so <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">out I limped. You know, I bet New York is the only place
where you can hop around with an injury and absolutely nobody cares. No one
will bother you. There’s some consolation in that, especially if you <i>vant </i>to be alone (does his best Greta
Garbo). I mean it took me 5 minutes to get into the cab; the cabbie was happy
‘cause the extra minutes meant more change in his pocket! But did he give a
damn about me? Nahhhh!!!! And three people let the door hit me on my way into
Macy’s. No one looks. Oops, you’re a perpetrator; you already know about that.
(She is about to break into another chorus of I’m sorry, when he stops her.)
Oh, it was an accident; enough whining! It still hurts, but it’s Christmas and
I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
(They look at each other a bit more trustingly.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You’re certainly punctual. Macy’s was the most crowded
I’ve ever seen it… (fumbles for key and finally opens the door) Boy, it looks
like you did as much shopping as I did? Here long?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: No, just got here a couple of minutes before
you. I hope there’s not a treetop decoration in that bag of yours, cause I’ve
got one I think you’re gonna love…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">14<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Nope. No star. I remembered you’re at the head of
the star department. (both laugh) But please tell me all that stuff is not for
me. I<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">have plenty of decorations and food. I’ll get the eggnog.
I’m expecting company around 5, so…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Doll, I’m a fast decorator. I’ll be out a here
before you can say Saint Nick. And I’ll be sure to use all of Delia’s balls
and… (rummages through his bags and then back to her own)). Oh, and I’ve got
(she pulls stuff out of bags) cheese nips, pretzels – plain and with peanut
butter – and salt free chips. I’m on a diet! Do you have any wine? I hate
eggnog, and besides, it’s too damn caloric. Right to the thighs! It makes ‘em
thunder thighs!!!! Yuck!!!! (slaps them)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I’ve got wine. And you should really keep your
snacks. I’ve got plenty to munch on here…I don’t mean to be rude, but it’ll
take me time to <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">prepare the dinner for tonight, so, if it seems like I’m
working and not paying attention, I am …it’s just…I’m on kind of a schedule, if
you don’t mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: What are you having?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I’m cooking a turkey – a 25 pounder for about
6. 5 guests and myself, of course.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Wow, a turkey! A real Christmas Eve dinner! Are you a good cook?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Nobody’s complained so far. I haven’t lost anyone yet. (laughs)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: I love Balducci’s. Do you shop there?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Sometimes, if I’m in that neighborhood. It’s nice,
but expensive for an out-of-work actor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Ain’t that the truth. But what isn’t these days?
(All the while they are talking, Roselie is unpacking her bags and his bags and
boxes and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">15<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">decorating the tree. Eddie is preparing the drinks and
snacks in the kitchen, and his ‘dinner for 6’.) You know what I love at this
time of the year?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Caramel corn. And all year round, for that matter. I
didn’t buy any…my diet doesn’t allow it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: You don’t look as if you need to worry about that.
I mean you have a very slim and appealing figure. As a matter of fact, I have
some caramel corn …for later.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: You do? May I have a little now. Oh. please,
pretty please! (Eddie opens package of caramel corn and offers her some.) Oh,
this is yummy!!!!!!!!! Fabay! Absolutely delish!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: May I ask you something? Where did you pick up
that lingo?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: What lingo?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Fabay! Delish!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Puleeze! The Divine Miss M, doll! Haven’t you ever
listened to Bette Midler’s show?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: No, sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: I’ll lend you the album sometime, simply divine,
that Div girl!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (laughs) The lingo…it’s (for lack of a better
word) cute! You certainly are a breath of fresh air!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: I never wanted to be like everyone else -
run-of-the-mill, not for me! So I’m glad I stand out! Most of my acting
partners think I’m overpowering, can you imagine? They think I’m too much!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (with a Jack Benny pose) Imagine that!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: (laughs uproariously, ending with a loud snort) That
was good! Jack Paar, right? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Benny.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">16<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: I had a boyfriend once named Jack Penny. It was
so hard to introduce him to anyone. They’d take a look at him and ask, “Are you
the son?” “Whose son?” he’d say. “Didn’t you say your name was Jack Benny?”
they’d ask. It was an embarrassment. Anyways, I love impressions. Do you have
another?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Some tell me I do a mean Ed Sullivan. (into
character) Tonight, right here on our stage, just for you folks…we have a
really big shoo…Christmas shoo …!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Not bad!!! Charles Pierce taught me a lot in San
Fran.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Who’s Charles Pierce?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Who’s Charles Pierce!? Only the best
impressionist of… female stars… on the planet. You’ve never seen him?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: No. Drag artist?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: We hate that term. We also hate ‘female
impersonator’. ‘Impressionist’ is good. He’s a comedian in a dress. And, boy oh
boy, is he a fuckin’ scream! He does the gay circuit in New York, San Fran, LA,
Fort Lauderdale. Anyway, I was in his
act in San Francisco. To make a long story short, he’d do his solo thing and
then, at some point, he’d introduce me as Miss Kitty Litter …pronounced Kitty
Litte (in a French accent) and I’d come out in a cigarette girl costume and be
his straight man for 4 or 5 minutes. You know, like Eve Arden or Thelma Ritter
with a slew of smart ass remarks. It was
great fun! All the queens loved me! Royalty, doll, like you wouldn’t believe,
came to see Charles. I met a lot of people and I learned a lot about how to be
funny…you know, comic timing and all. But, I really hated those clubs. Full of
smoke and the guys would yell and scream, and the straight ones would heckle
you and even paw at you when they had the chance. I knew though that I’d leave
there eventually and become a serious actress some day. You know (stops what
she is doing)… I think we would work really well together. You study with Bill
Hickey at HB, don’t you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">17<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I did, but I switched this semester to Austin
Pendleton… for a change of pace, and I’m auditing Sandy Dennis’ class. Not that
I no longer like Bill, I do. I just like to explore other teachers’ techniques.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Sandy Dennis! She’s frightening! What is it with
her and all that stuttering? She won an Academy Award! We should all be so
lucky! If you put her and Shelley Winters in a play as mother and daughter,
they would add a half hour to the performance, just with all those friggin’
pauses and uh,uh,uhs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Sandy is a distinct personality, that’s for sure,
but she doesn’t talk like that when she’s teaching or when you speak with her
in conversation. It seems to come off that way on film. It’s a quaint mannerism
she’s acquired. But who can beat her performances in <i>Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? </i>or <i>Up the Down Staircase</i> or <i>The
Fox</i>? She studied with the big man himself, HB, Herbert Berghoff and told
the class last week that once in an improv <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">that Berghoff had set up- on a subway- she didn’t utter a
single word when the train came to a sudden unexpected screeching halt between
stations, simply because her character would not have reacted verbally. And
because of that, the improv lasted more than an hour. Now that’s an actress, in
my book! She stuck by her character consistently, right to the end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: To the discomfort of everybody else? What if one
of them had to go to the bathroom? What if she had to go?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (contains laughter) She would hold it. An actor
does with his character what he has to do, no matter what. Who are you taking class with? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: (in deep throaty voice) Bill Hickey, of course.
He said I remind him of his niece. I’m a wild horse. Can you imagine? Who would
tell someone publically that they act like a wild horse? Shouldn’t I take that
as an insult?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">18<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: No!!!!!!!!!!! Hickey must like you. He really gets
into his students. He cares so much. He told me once I was a director’s dream.
He’s very protective of you. When I mentioned that I wanted to audition for the
Actor’s Studio, he looked at me and after a long pause, shook his head no!!!
...and said… “Ahhh, God in Heaven, beware: The Vatican of Acting. (puts his
hands together like a holy man in prayer) You’ll never be the same again. Think
twice about that! The Method – ugh!” He
made it sound like something out of <i>The
Stepford Wives</i>. Go there and they’ve got you cloned!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: That sounds like Bill! He loves his students and
wants only the best for them. I guess I think of him as like a second
father. He’s so critical of me though.
Charles (Pierce) taught me to do a Bette Davis impression and I think I’m
pretty damn good, too. I’ll have to show it you sometime.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: What about now? I mean, we have time. The turkey’s
in the oven, and I have time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: OK, but only if I’m not taking you away from
anything important. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: No, really. Go ahead! I’d love to see it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Well. I’ve done this at the Café Carlyle - once
or twice - on talent nights. No gigs yet. Nothing big, anyway. I do my own
version of a scene from <i>All About Eve</i>,
when she as Margo Channing first meets Eve Harrington in her dressing room
backstage. (She pulls a wig from her bag and gets ready.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">MC:
Who did you say was out there? Oh, that mousy one who’s there every night and
every matinee? She doesn’t have a life! I mean, I know I’m good, but really!
What the hell, send her in!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">EH:
Oh, Miss Channing. You don’t know what an honor it is to finally meet you. I’ve
seen every play you’ve ever done.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">MC: That’s
impossible! You’re too young to remember.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">19<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">EH:
Well, I mean in the last few years. I’ve seen at least four. You were so
brilliant last season in <i>The Corn Is
Green</i>. And I just love you as the damsel in this play.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">MC:
How many times have you seen it, dearie?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">EH:
At least 50.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">MC:
Fifty?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">EH:
Yes, I’ve seen it in every place you’ve toured on the East Coast.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">MC:
You mean, you’re <i>stalking me?</i><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">EH:
Oh no, I just love to watch you act. You are the greatest actress ever to grace
a stage.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">MC:
I know that, but you follow me from place to place…that’s…that’s ABNORMAL. <i>The Heave Ho! Get her out! NOW!</i><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Curtain.
The End.</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> (Eddie laughs uproariously. She pulls towel out of her
duffel bag and wipes the sweat from her face.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: Oh God, Bill would tell me, “Take off the wig
and the costume”. (She takes off wig and puts her blouse back on.) ‘Cause
that’s how the Bette scene has to be done; otherwise I wouldn’t look anything
like her… but he tells me repeatedly in class, when I use wigs and character
makeup and stuff, that I don’t need any of it. Don’t you think that’s weird? A
costume, a wig and makeup are necessary to make a character come to life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Yes, but in class, he’s trying to tell you to be
yourself. Strip everything away and if you can do that honestly, you will
really know what makes your character tick. Even though he makes fun of The
Method, it’s the same in the end. It’s almost like therapy…on a grander scale,
to be <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">20<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">sure. You have to dig down really deep into your soul to
find whatever causes your character’s motivations and reactions. Maybe the
Bette is too <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">big. I mean you really do her well, but , for class,
maybe you should choose someone lesser known and bring more of yourself to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Rosalie: You know, the first time I saw you, you reminded
me of Jack Lemmon. You have a very appealing… everyman quality about you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Why, thank you, ma’am! I’ve always admired Lemmon.
I’m touched. Love his style. <i>Some Like It
Hot ,The Apartment, Mister Roberts</i>. He’s so …real. If my acting gets even close to his, I’ll be
thrilled. Thank you for telling me that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Roselie: (all the while, she’s been finishing up the
tree) You’re welcome. My brother is a lot like you. He’s older, though and has
2 kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Oh, that’s hardly like me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie: What do you mean?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Well, it’s very unlikely that I’ll
marry and have children.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie: What a shame! Why not?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Tell me more about your brother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie: Well, he’s an ad executive. Always
on the move and very smart. He married young, but is completely faithful to his
wife. He loves his kids. I think he’d lay down and die for them, if he had to.
That’s loyalty. You strike me as a very loyal guy too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Boy you are loaded with compliments.
Thank you. Is he artistic, your brother?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Nah, but he supports the arts. Goes to the
opera and ballet, and totally lends me support. I mean, if I need money, he’s
the first to lend it to me. Certainly thinks more of my lifestyle than my
mother. And he really helped me out a lot after Thad screwed me over. I call
him Thad the Cad.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’m almost afraid to ask, but who is Thad?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">21<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">A boyfriend I had in San Fran. He asked me to
marry him. Even gave me a ring. Then a week before the wedding, he left town
with half of my money.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">How did he get your money?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oh, I was stupid, and fell for one of his
schemes. He told me he had a deal that would make us rich. That he had to
invest $5000 in this business proposition. I believed him, gave him the money,
and off he went.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I never saw him again. I mean, if you had a
ring from a guy, wouldn’t you have lent him the money?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It depends on whether I thought you could
trust him or not. How long were</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">you
engaged?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">6 months.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Well, that’s not a long time, but I guess you
could get to know someone pretty well in 6 months. What a louse!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">That’s what my brother said too. He lent me
the money to move here last year. My mom said it was all my fault, and I
deserved what I got. (starts to get a little emotional, but pulls herself right
out of it) What about your dates? Any clunkers?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oh, yeah.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I bet they were pretty, though. You look like
you’ve always gotten the good looking ones.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Not really. But I find your stories more
interesting. Mine are boring. I’m just a plain Ohio boy.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You’ve mentioned a lot about your mom. What
about your dad?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Deceased. He was hard-working during his
life. Good support for my mom. She was devastated when he died.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">How did he die?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Burned in an explosion. It was awful. I’d
rather not talk about it. It was 5 years ago, but the memories still haunt me.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">22<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">That’s terrible. I’m so sorry. Do you have
brothers or sisters?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">No. I’m an only child. I carried all the
responsibility after my dad died. But that’s OK. I loved my mom and would have
done anything for her. Let’s change the subject.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What did you do before you came to New York?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I taught high school. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">That makes a lot of sense.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What do you mean?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You’re straight laced, dependable, caring.
You were probably a great teacher. Do you like kids?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Not really. I always thought of them as my
audience. Best standup routine or acting job in the world… teaching school.
Apart from the real thing, that is. If you can hold <i>their</i> attention, you
can get anyone to pay attention to you.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But you wouldn’t want kids of your own?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(flat out) No! May we please change the
subject?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But you have all the qualities that make for
a good father! The best kind of father! A super dad!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Look, I’m getting impatient. I do not now or
never will want to have little monsters of my own! End of story! Change the
subject or (does an Elizabeth Montgomery from <i>Bewitched</i> kind of <i>poof!</i>
gesture) - begone!(he realizes that he’s far too serious, then pauses and looks
at Roselie and smiles a kind of “I’m sorry” smile)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Look, I’m sorry, but let’s please drop all of
this!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Why? What are you hiding????</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(about to explode)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">That’s it!!!! I’m not
getting through to you.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">OK. OK, don’t have a stroke! I’m sorry I
upset you ... OK, let’s talk about something else. Let’s get back to our stage
careers … I think we should work together. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">23<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I really have more doubts at this point. I
don’t think we’d be compatible.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What do you mean? We’d be great partners.
Scene partners, that is. (coughs) I need some water. (coughs more like she is
about to get into a coughing fit) (barely audible)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> What do you
think of the tree so far?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(trying to be patient)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’ll get you the
water.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">No, that’s OK. I know my way around. (goes to
kitchen) The layout of my apartment is exactly the same as this. I’m directly
underneath you, you know. Where are your drinking glasses?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Top left cabinet.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(she drinks and
starts to calm down)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Are you
OK?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’ll be fine. What do you think of the tree
so far?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(After a long pause) I think you have
done a better job decorating this tree than I ever could and I love the angel
on top. It’s prettier and more eye-catching than a star. … I hope I’m not too
noisy.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "ar ial" , "serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I beg your pardon?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You’re right below me. I hope I don’t make
too much noise. I do have a tendency to turn up the stereo sometimes. It annoys
the hell out of Grossman.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I know you do. It doesn’t bother me. You love
“Rose’s Turn” from <i>Gypsy</i>, don’t you?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You’ve heard me play that? Oh, Lord, then it <i>is</i>
too loud. The last thing I want to do is disturb anyone.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And you sing along to it! </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Good God, you hear
that too?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Yes, I do, and you’re
pretty good for a man singing a woman’s song.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Ever considered being an impersonator? I’ll
introduce you to Charles Pierce. He’ll teach you a thing or two.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><b><span style="font-family: "20arial" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’m sure he would.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">24<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’ve enjoyed
listening to you, though. Through the floor, I mean.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oh, that’s good.
You’ve never complained about me to the landlord, so that’s promising.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(They sit and look at
tree. Finally, Roselie speaks.)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(suddenly laughs to herself)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You also talk to
yourself.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I
do?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I heard you through
the door this morning. Cursing out that idiot Kessler on the radio. I hate him
too! What an asshole! He thinks he’s God’s gift to women.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My God, do you have
X-Ray hearing? The last thing I want to have anyone know is that I talk to
myself.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It’s no big deal. I
do it all the time, especially when I’m lonely.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(pausing, looks at
her and long pause)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Loneliness
is just a state of mind. You deserve a great mate and you will find one soon,
I’m sure. You have a lot to offer. You are certainly a clever decorator, at
least with trees. You’ve done such a good job. Better than I could have done!
My mom would be so proud. You know, you remind me of her a little.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I do? In what way?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Oh, I don’t know. Your smile. Your
complete honesty. Your zest for life. You really work at things with a
vengeance. My mom never believed in doing anything half way. I admire that.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Neither do I. If you’re going to do it, then,
by golly, just do it – the best you can!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oh my God!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What???</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My mom always used to say that. “Never settle
for less. Be the best you can!”</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Well, I’m sure glad we have something in
common. You know, I think you and I would do a great scene together. It’s fate,
in the cards.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">25<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You’ve said that more than once. (stares at
angel) You also have great taste in ornaments. So did mom. That perfect angel!
I put a Hummel angel on top of the tree two years ago, it fell off and…ended
up… decapitated. Catholic boy that I am, I felt so guilty. I thought I would be
condemned to the fires of hell for all eternity. Killing an angel and on
Christmas Eve no less! A double mortal sin! And then there was my mom who would have
killed me if she had seen what happened. So I told her I decided on the star
instead and had put the angel away for safe keeping. She never found out that
her precious angel had fallen. That it was ruined for life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie: Catholics are worse than Jews,
aren’t they? Ughhh!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Double ughhh!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">That’s actually a humorous story, though. An
ornament lost its head. Don’t take life so seriously! Ornaments break, no more,
no less. It happens. But all that intellectual, religious symbolism – ahh!
Crap! Too much for me to handle!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: You’re right! You have a realistic attitude;
mom did too in spite of her religious beliefs. I like that. I wish I could just
accept it, laugh and move on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie: It works for me. I stay positive,
like going after the things I want. I don’t give up. Would you consider working
with me soon in Hickey’s class?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But I’m not in that class this term.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">He wouldn’t mind. You could come back, at
least for one scene. He likes you.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">How do you know that?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You’re a director’s dream, remember?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(They both stare at
each other for a moment.)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Let’s have some Christmas music.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Nothing boring like “Jingle Bell Rock”.
I mean, puleeze!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">26<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What’s wrong with that song? It’s a great 50s
tune. You don’t like that beat?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It’s OK, but you hear it about a million
times on the radio. Let me see what you’ve got. (thumbs through albums)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Ah! Perf, too perf,
perf, perf!!! (she puts on…)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I have a feeling I may be sorry for letting
you select…(hears song) <i>On the first day of Christmas…</i></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">OK, that’s not
run-of-the-mill.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Let’s duet.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">On
the first day of Christmas, </span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My
true love gave to me (she points to Eddie)</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: A partridge in a pear tree</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:
On the second day of Christmas</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">, </span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My
true love gave to me (points to him)</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:Two
calling birds<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie: And a partridge in a pear tree</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">On
the third day of Christmas, </span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My
true love gave to me (points)</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:Three
French hens,</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Two
calling birds</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Together:
And a partridge in a pear tree.</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(laughing so hard, he falls over on floor and
gets into a fit of laughing)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">That
was fun!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(They laugh and laugh.)
I told you we would make a great team!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My mom taught me that song. It’s a Vegas favorite.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">27<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So did mine. Sounds like your mom means more
to you than you care to admit.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie: She’s OK. I just can’t stand to be
around her for a very long time. She gets on my nerves, always criticizing me.
I should have been this, I should have been that. Why didn’t I stay a
secretary? Why did I have to move to New York?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I Left My Heart in San Francisco</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">. (sings a few bars)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">San Fran. Where even the Bay Bridge is bent.
I mean gay, really gay. But not me! Straight as an arrow.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You say that like gay people give you the
creeps.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Hey, I’m an actress. I like everybody. Some
of my best friends are gay. It’s just that every once and a while you are
attracted to someone and want to…well, it seems that the best looking ones are
…gay.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Are looks so important?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie: </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oh, puleeze, doll!
You know they are, for gays and for straights. Who wants to go to bed with a
troll?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’ve had my share!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So have I, and the memory is not so sweet.
This is Christmas Eve. I have a great idea! Oh, shoot! We can’t!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">We can’t what?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I was going to say, let’s have a picnic with
turkey right here under the tree tonight, but you have company to prepare for!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oh, <i>that</i> company!!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Yeah, that company!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(getting 2 wine glasses, a carafe of wine and
offering a glass to Roselie)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What
if I told you that I was exaggerating!?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You mean you’re not cooking for 6?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Nope.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">28<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">For how many then?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(running into kitchen) Oh, shit! I forgot the
turkey… (checks oven) Ah, it’s fine… another 2 hours… OK.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Well, that’s a relief! At least your company
of …how many?...will not be munching on burnt turkey.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Pour moi seulement!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Ah, le francais! You (in funny French accent)
are cooking for just one?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oui, oui.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">We, we. Or, you, you?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’m sorry. I don’t know why I lied, but I’m
having Christmas Eve dinner alone.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Maybe because you had no intention of
inviting me!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I said that earlier when I hardly knew you.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And now you’ve changed your mind? Why?
Because I’m good for a few laughs?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You said that. I didn’t. Because… you are a
funny girl…and…I like you.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oh.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(She moves in on him.)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Yeah. So, what do you say? Will you accept my
invitation and stay for a turkey wing…… or maybe a… drumstick? (does a Groucho
Marx impression with this )</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Yes. (She moves closer and reaches out and
kisses Eddie on the lips. He can hardly break away, and when he does, he’s out
of breath.)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(stunned, pulls away) Oh, my God! That
should not have happened! No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Did I get my wires
crossed or did you just ask me to dinner?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">29<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Yes, but I’m not dessert! Roselie, when
you said we’d work well together, I thought you meant on stage, not in real
life!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Boy o boy, am I that repulsive?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">No. You are an attractive girl In fact,
you’re very attractive.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So????????????????</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sooo….a small city boy in love with the
memory of his mother descends on the Big Apple. It’s the 70s; it’s breakout
time. I’m …gay. GAY! (pause) (she stares at him) </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I thought you had guessed that.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You’re gay and you don’t listen to Better
Midler?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">That’s not funny! I led a very sheltered
catholic life for 30 years in a small town, give me a break!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So, you’re gay? So what?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What do you mean, so what?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Well, my last boyfriend told me he was gay,
and he turned out to be one hell of a lay!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Wait a minute here. This is out of my league.
Not my style. I think you’d better…(Before he has a chance to finish his
sentence, he notices the letter on the table that Roselie brought to him that
morning …he picks it up, looks at it and then back at her.))</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">This is not even <i>addressed</i>
to me. What is going on here?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I really wanted to get to know you. I’ve seen
you at the mailbox, in the laundry room and at HB, and thought you’d be a
perfect scene partner.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oh, this is a scene we’ve been playing here?
You lied to me! Did you knock me down on purpose too? </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oh, no! That was an accident, I swear! But ,
wait just a minute! You</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">lied to
me too! Cooking a turkey for 6, so…”<i>You’d
better get your ass movin, position that angel and get the hell out of here”!</i></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Bell interrupts)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’m not expecting anyone!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">30<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(looks at watch) It’s probably for me.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What???</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I told the director I’m working with, I’d be
here and to stop by before 5 o’clock.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Boy, you sure are some pushy broad!!! You
planned all this! You staged this whole scenario!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Don’t you worry your cute little butt! Cause,
this pushy broad will just get her coat and get out of your way! (She brushes
past him and takes her coat.) (looks up toward the heavens)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Why, Dear God? Why oh
why am I always <i>the</i> number one choice for FAG HAG of the year!?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(brusquely throws
open the door and…in stumbles a bedraggled man in a Santa Claus hat who appears
tipsy and lost.)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(They grab him, one on each side before he
falls on the floor)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Man: (sings) <i>Deck the Halls with Boughs of
Holly…Fa La La La… Lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh </i>(looks from one to the other in a
confused state)<i> (sings) Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly </i>(holds up a
brown paper bag and drinks)<i> </i>…Ho, Ho, Ho!!!!!! Feliz
Navidad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<i> </i>(he falls)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(lights fade)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Lights
come up on Scene Four; the same, seconds later.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill! (looks at Roselie) It’s Bill Hickey!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">In the flesh! Ed McFee, you old son of
a gun! Happy Christmas! (breaks away and drinks from brown paper bag)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill, what happened to you?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Looks for a chair to sit in) Aren’t there
any chairs in here? Am I still in the lobby?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Eddie puts a hard-backed chair under him and
helps seat him.)Thaaaaank you! Well…I stopped at the Cookie Bar and I suppose
you can guess the rest.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Hell,
you (looks at Eddie) live a long way from the studio. It’s snowing, the sidewalks
are slippery. I fell in the slush and some <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">31<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">goddamn cab driver almost ran over me. Jesus,
I thought I’d never get here!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Did you forget the script?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oh, shit! It’s in my bag.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Where’s your bag?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Let me think. I dropped it when I fell on
Christopher St, and that nice young man crossing the street next to me picked
it up for me, carried it to the corner. Or did he carry me to the corner? I
can’t remember. Wait a minute! Yes, I can. He put the bag over his shoulder,
picked me up, carried me to the corner, put me down, and then handed me the
bag. Man, he was a big strappin’ dude. What a stud! And a gentleman!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill, where’s the bag?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> …</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I dropped it in the hall.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Roselie rushes to
the hall, grabs the bag, comes in. Eddie is trying to make Bill feel at home.)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’m sorry I don’t have any cushions.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(looking around) What do you have? (laughs)
Just kidding! What a cute Hannukah bush! Why doesn’t it have <i>blue</i>
lights? Don’t the Jews decorate with blue or am I colorblind?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It’s a Christmas tree. Let me get you a
drink. Some water, I mean. Or, would you prefer something else?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(picks up the paper bag and toasts him)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">L’achaim!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sure! (goes to kitchen) (Roselie is going
through bag)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill, I hope you don’t mind. I’m looking for
the script.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Why should I mind? A pretty young thing like
you can go through my privates anytime she wants! (drinks)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Voila! <i>L’amour de deux</i>. Did you
make copies?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">There should be two copies of the scene in
the manuscript!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">32<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Yes! Yes! Oh, Bill, this is too perf! I think
you’ll agree Eddie is just right for the young guy. We’ll be perf together!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(drinks some more. Eddie returns.) I’m in
rather a rush. I promised to make a couple of stops before the night is over,
so let’s get this show on the road.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What show?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(handing Eddie his scene script) Bill has
written this play. He asked me to play the young… I should say, ingénue,
in it. We want you to read the young man.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill, you mean you didn’t stop by to
socialize and have a Christmas drink with me!? After all, I always thought our
relationship meant more to you than just teacher/student! I thought you kind of
liked me!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(gets up, and suddenly becomes increasingly
sober and alert, as he speaks. He is so intense that you would never imagine
that minutes earlier he had been drinking!) I love you, but I never socialize
with my students. I TEACH them. Yes, I do have drinks with them at the Cookie
Bar, but that is part of the whole experience of getting to know them better. I
need to know my kids inside out, and I want them to be comfortable with me.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill, don’t get on the defensive. We love you
too.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Shushhhhh (very forceful)… I came here in the
joy of the season to spread cheer, to envelop you with a thought-provoking
theatrical experience, to AUDITION you for this play. No, it’s not a play; it’s
the culmination of all that has brought me to this stage of my life. It’s my
life’s work, the very air I breathe. It’s a little gem. This little gem is
going to make me …I mean us…rich and put HB Studio on the map, if it takes
every ounce of strength and fortitude that I have to achieve it. Although it
serves a much higher purpose, - art for the sake of art - it’ll
play Broadway, tour, and, goddamn it, be made into a movie. AHHhhhh,
finally my <i>best</i> work preserved on film for all eternity …and, all those
residuals and you won’t have to look at me! Every film I’ve done as an actor is
crap. CRAP! I played second fiddle to Mostel and Wilder in that drunken scene
in “The Producers”. Nobody even remembers I was in it! But as writer, producer
and director, it will make a difference! Wait, I’m getting way ahead of myself.
First, let’s enjoy the process at hand, my friends, the PLAY. A <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">33<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">workshop for the theatre. It’s a sacred
event. And you are the blessed, chosen ones to give it life! Actors, take your
places and let’s set up for this… the first scene of the play. It’s a Saturday.
Rod, a young man of 25 has come to the top of the Empire State Building to kill
himself. That’s right. He’s going to jump off. He has nothing to live for. No
one loves him. He’s distraught, he’s finished…and then, onto the roof steps
Natalia, a scrumptious girl of 22, so beautiful, that when Rod catches a
glimpse of her, it’s like he’s seeing a sunset or a twinkling star, a rainbow,
aneclipse…he’s so taken by her beauty that he follows her around the platform
like a puppy dog begging to just get a whiff of her. He’ll do, say anything to
get her attention. He is saved. He has found what has eluded him so far. This
is his <i>raison d’etre</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(whispers to Roselie) This is such bullshit!
I’ve never seen Bill so polluted!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(when Bill looks his way, he asks:)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Who am I? I mean, a
writer, an actor, an artist? If I’m going to kill myself, why?????</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie, explain to this boy the role that he
is about to play. I have to prepare.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(He starts to prepare, which includes several
gulps from the little brown bag. He gets down on the floor in yoga fashion and
starts to chant with his eyes closed. Eddie, confused, fumbles through the
script.)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What are we doing?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">L’Amour de deux</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: I know.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I mean why are we doing this on Christmas
Eve?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Trust. It’s going to be wonderful for all of
us. You are a young man on the verge of your first love.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">This won’t work, Roselie! I can’t do this!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You will fall madly in love with the young
rosebud that I play! Yes!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(looks heavenward) Roselie, this is not a
part that is right for me. It’s all wrong for both of us.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You are an actor. You yourself told me that. Actors
act. You must play this role. It will change you.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">34<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Change me for what? I think your intentions
are all wrong, Roselie! (looking heavenward) Mommie, you never prepared me for
this!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(opens his eyes, gets up from the floor and
goes to Eddie and grabs him by the shoulder) You loved your mom, didn’t you?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Yes, how did you know?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You told me about a thousand times in class
last summer.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">That’s right, when I did that scene from <i>Marty</i>,
and then <i>Butterflies Are Free.</i></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And don’t forget <i>The Manchurian Candidate</i>!
That was much too much. I loved my mom too, but adulation for that kind of
monster is ridiculous. A mother’s attachment has got to stop somewhere. It’s
caca! It’s bullshit! (long pause while Bill summons up emotion) I really did
love my mother. When she died I thought my right arm had been cut off. But I
survived. And so will you. (suddenly in a loud and authoritative voice) Now get
over it and get into the scene! Time is precious and we are wasting it,
kiddies. <b>So let’s get it on! Now…</b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Caroline opens her door and comes out – hair
in curlers, wearing a bathrobe and listens at door. Suddenly she jumps up and
down, smiles and rushes back to her apartment. There’s company to prepare for.)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(as Rod, behind Natalia,
trying to get her to notice him)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Hello, won’t you turn and look at me?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(she turns)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">That’s better! May I
say something? You are the most beautiful girl…no, woman… I have ever <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">seen.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(she slaps him)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">No, no, no, that will never do!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(he grabs her by the arm)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Look at me, you
vixen!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(He kisses her
passionately. Roselie is overcome with emotion; Eddie is out of breath.)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill, I can’t do
this!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">That was so
beautiful! The purest of emotions. Innocent, true<i>, what do you mean you can’t do it? Bullshit, you just did!</i> OK… now
it’s time to go in the opposite direction. Never take for granted what you
think a character is like. You have to explore all aspects of him! He’s smitten
with this girl. Now that he’s gotten her to pay attention, they’ve kissed,
she’s in his pocket. Play coy. Surprise her, she won’t turn away completely.
You have to show another side to him!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Look at me! I can play any part! (He acts out
the following…) </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">35<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Shakespeare,
either sex: (does a hunchbacked Richard III, then) “Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore
art thou, Romeo”… Williams : ”Stella!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…” O’Neill – man or woman:
“Give me a whiskey with ginger ale on the side, and don’t be stingy.”… Rodgers
and Hammerstein (sings “Some Enchanted Evening”…)…Jerome Robbins (dances) “When
you’re a jet,you’re a jet all the way to your last cigarette, to your last
dying day”…even, Neil Simon (goes to quote and can’t come up with anything, so
shrugs his shoulders)… It doesn’t matter. I can do it all! So will you. Just
trust yourself, let go, let it happen!!!!</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Let’s take five, kids!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Caroline Grossman rushes out of her
apartment and slams on the door. She is dressed to the nines in her best Sunday
attire. Bill answers it.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill: Well, who have we here?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Caroline: I’m the landlady. What the hell is
going on in here?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill: A Christmas party! Merry
Christ-mas! (He kisses her on the
cheek.) How about a vodka and tonic? (“Yes!” she cries. “Merry, merry!” He
pulls her in and fixes her a drink. They clink glasses and toast.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:
(steps forward) Still sorry you’ve gotten to know me today?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Are you kidding?
You’ve given me quite a gift. This is the best Christmas ever.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Who knows? Maybe this will turn out to be a
big lucky break! For both of us!!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie: Do you really think so? Well, it’s
certainly a beginning! </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(lifts glass) Merry Christmas!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Merry Christmas…mon cher!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You know, if I <i>were</i> so inclined, I’d definitely ask you out on a date. Are you all right with just being friends? </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’m working on it.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Good. (pause)
You know, you’re a peach!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">A peach!??</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">36<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">A peach! It was
Delia’s phrase to describe someone she really cared for. It suits you
perfectly!</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Are you sure you’re
not a Southern boy? </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">New England tried and
true. But I sure do know a peach when I see one. (sexy southern accent)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Roselie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Okey, Dokey!
Whatever turns ya’ on, my friend! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You betcha!
(in best Groucho Marx style)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(They toast.)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(lights go dim on Bill, Mrs. Grossman and Rosalie,
as Eddie steps forward to address the audience)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eddie:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I always questioned
the overly friendly, seductive side of Bill. For a long time, I swore it meant
something sexual, perverse, dirty, and Rosalie and I were his prey. I never
really quite figured him out sexually! The older I get, the more I realize you
should leave that area of one’s life alone! Straight, gay, bi! What difference </span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">does it make? Anyway, this whole bizarre day
was my first encounter with Roselie Berke. There were many more days to follow.
We have stayed friends through the years and always look back on that first
night - that kiss – the offstage one, that is, as something that should never
have happened. At the time, it scared the crap out of me! Headlines: big city
gal corrupts small town boy! Or maybe it should have read: Small city boy fears
transformation into bisexual! What a laugh! Leaving all thoughts of sex
completely out of the picture, just talking to her, laughing with her and being
around her was far more interesting and exciting than…well, you know! I am the
first to disagree with the line in <b>When Harry Met Sally</b> that a man and a
woman cannot be friends after a romantic kiss…or was that only after they had
had sex? Is that line meant for straight men only? Let’s skip the whole sex
thing! It’s a bore! Caput, enough, finis! Roselie and I became the <b>best of
friends</b>, talked for hours on the phone when she returned to San Francisco.
We did the scene together in Bill’s class. It never got past the workshop. The
play fizzled, but Bill went to Hollywood and was nominated for a Best
Supporting Actor Oscar in a big box office film a few years later. He lost, but
there was that recognition. He died shortly thereafter. Some said it was his
liver, others, a <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">37<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">broken
heart. But, I miss him. What a great teacher and mentor! I will never forget
him. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">As
for Roselie, she moved to Vegas - can you believe it? - lives near her mother,
who stills plays Blackjack at age 90. She even has a kitten – one of Winifred’s
ancestors, no doubt! And, still keeps in touch every Christmas, and surprises
me with a late night phone call every now and again. As for <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">me,
well, I moved to LA, became a journalist, wrote some short stories, teach
language arts, act from time to time. and still live there. After all this
time, big financial success still eludes me. But, hell… there’s always hope -
maybe this play!!!! Every once in a while, when I’m in a reflective mood I
cannot help but remember this crazy, unexpected, absolutely joyous – FAB – East
Coast Christmas Eve.</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(Eddie steps back and Bill steps center
stage, wearing Santa hat and Caroline, also in hat, is holding his hand.) </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Ho, Ho, Ho!!!!!! Remember, I’ll be on foot
out there, it’s dark and snowy, so drive carefully! Be safe! God bless! Thanks
for coming! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bill, Caroline, Eddie and Roselie
(centerstage):</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Merry,
merry Christmas! </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(lights
fade) </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Finis.</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Don Grigwarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891105796912621378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846241492224861640.post-91419393024014089932016-05-04T22:30:00.001-07:002016-05-07T11:13:49.130-07:00<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Eisenhower Years and
That Damn Mini ChooChoo Train!<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A dramedy in one act<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">by Don Grigware<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Characters:</span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia
McFee</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> is a 50+ moderately contented housewife who lives in an
apartment with her non-religious
workaholic husband Dave and 12 year-old son Eddie, a 7<sup>th</sup> grader.
Delia is a very strict Catholic, who says the rosary every night and engineers
everything in her household to be the way she likes/wants it all to be. She is
strong-willed, opinionated, manipulative and … a talented woman who must face
the fact that she is going nowhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie
McFee </span></i></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">is a bright, precocious 12 year-old 7<sup>th</sup>
grader, who loves his family, but is experiencing angst about who he is and
what he will do with his life. He is overweight for his age and feels different
from other boys. He hates sports, reads a lot and listens to Broadway cast
albums on his stereo and… longs to live in a far away place. He finds himself inexplicably
attracted - feelings that are new and scary to him - to Jerry Nolan, a 14
year-old boy who lives two floors below.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave
McFee</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> is a hard-working, very frugal man in his mid-forties,
who works in an office by day and runs a concession stand at a local amusement
park by night. He supports his family, but shows little interest in being with
his wife and son except when necessary. He and Eddie have a strange father/son
relationship. He leaves most of the parenting to Delia, and then complains that
she is spoiling Eddie too much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry
Nolan</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> is a 14 year-old closeted gay teen who sets his eyes on
Eddie. Despite their age difference, they have a connection to the arts, as
they both sing in the church choir. Jerry tries to seduce Eddie on many
occasions, but Eddie’s sexual innocence and religious guilt have prevented
anything from happening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge
Mellon </span></i></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">is Delia’s older sister, who has recently
moved into the apartment next door. She moved to New York years before with her
husband and raised two sons, one of whom is a Franciscan priest. Since her
husband has died and her sons have moved away, she returns to Mass. to be close
to her sister. If Delia is a devout Catholic, Marge is like a bishop and looks
down on any unusual or frivolous behavior. Rather than dictate, she needles. Her
attitudes are a thorn in Eddie’s side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The entire action of the play takes place in the McFee
apartment – kitchen and living room - and the surrounding neighborhood of Hampton,
Massachusetts in November of 1957, during the week leading up to Thanksgiving
and concluding on Thanksgiving Day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">1 </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Scene
1: Eddie McFee is walking home from school at about 2: 30 on a cold afternoon in
November, exactly one week before Thanksgiving Day. It’s about a half hour walk
from school on Northampton St. to his apartment building at the corner of Beech
and Sargent Sts. Eddie walks alone and fast. All of a sudden he hears a voice
yelling at him from about a half a block behind. When he turns around, he sees
Jerry Nolan, a new boy in Hampton this year. Jerry is tall and gawky and two
years older, but seems really keen on becoming friendly with Eddie. Eddie is a
loner and would rather be by himself. Jerry runs fast to catch up with him.
Their entire conversation takes place as they walk. They sit briefly on a tree
stump at the corner of Sargent and Chestnut Sts., a couple of blocks from Beech
St.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: (out of breath from running) So, how are ‘ya?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: OK. (reluctant to talk)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: We’ve never actually met. I’m Jerry Nolan. I live
on the first floor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I know. I’ve seen you. I’m Eddie McFee.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Hi’ya, Eddie! I moved here in August. We were
living in Hartford, but my dad changed jobs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Oh. Do you like it here?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: It’s kinda boring. Have you been here long?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: All my life. 12 years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: And do you like it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I guess so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Do you have any brothers and sisters?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: No. Only child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: I have an older sister. She’s still in Hartford.
Living on her own…(pause) I wish I lived
on my own.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">2<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Really? You mean without your parents around?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Yeah. They’re annoying, always telling me what to
do. They set down rules, which I do my best not to follow. What about you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I love my parents. My mom’s the best. My dad works
most of the time, so I hardly see him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: That’s terrific! I wish my dad weren’t at home as
much. We’re Irish, ‘ya know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: We are too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: No. I mean Irish to the core. My parents were both
born in Ireland.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: My mom and dad are both of Irish descent. My
grandparents on my mother’s side both came from Ireland. County Mayo. But I
never knew them. They both passed away years ago.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: My folks are from County Kerry. They love all the
Irish customs and still live as if they were there. My mom hates American food.
She goes to a special store to buy stuff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I said hello to your mom one day, but she only
smiled and nodded to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: She’s shy around strangers. And she’s afraid of
misusing English. She still has her brogue, ‘ya know. So does my dad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Oh, OK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: What about your dad? I don’t see him with your mom
at church on Sundays? Is he Irish Catholic too?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: He’s Irish but not Catholic. His parents, my
Grandma Alice and Grandpa Frank are Methodists. But he’s not a church goer like
his parents. He respects my mom’s beliefs, though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: I thought all Irish people were Catholics.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">3<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Well, my mom is but not my dad. Somewhere in his
family tree, things changed, and they turned Protestant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Oh. (pause) Speaking of the church choir, I can’t
sing good, but my mother made me join, so I would be more active at church.
She’s making me join Catechism class on Monday nights too. I hated them in
Hartford.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry
eyes the tree stump</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: I’m in 9<sup>th</sup> grade, by the way. You’re in
7<sup>th</sup>? (Eddie nods.) What’s
your favorite subject?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: English, or French. It’s a toss-up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: You’re in accelerated, huh? You must get As.
(pause) I hate school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: You must like something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry. Gym. I like to run around. You like sports, don’t
you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: My body is not co-ordinated for sports. I’m lousy.
I have poor balance due to an ear infection a few years ago.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Too bad! Let’s sit down for a minute. I want to
show you something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (reluctantly) OK. But I need to get home. (looks
at watch) It’s already 3: 15. I should be home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Just for a minute. (He reaches in his pocket and
pulls out a card with a picture of a naked man and woman on it and shows it to
Eddie.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: That’s … <i>pornography</i>! Does your mother let you
look at that stuff?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: She doesn’t know I have them. I hide my
collection. I love to look at their beautiful bodies, especially the guys’
muscles. (Eddie acts uncomfortable.) Do you have a TV set?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Yeah.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">4<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Do you watch <i>Superman</i>?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: All the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Do you think I could
come up and watch it with you? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Don’t you have a TV?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Oh no, my parents only
listen to the radio and Irish music. They think American television is violent,
harmful to kids, and a big waste of time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Not all programs. But
sure, you can come up and watch sometime.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: What about today?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I don’t know…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: (reaching in his
pocket; pulls out a pen and then pulls a sheet of paper from his notebook)
Here’s my phone number. Call me and let me know when I can come up. (He leans up
against Eddie for as split second.) I like you. I can really talk to you, but
we need to get to know each other better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (very reluctant)
We’ll see. I’ve got to get home. Doesn’t your mother worry? Mine sure does.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: She thinks I’m a pain
in the ass, so I guess she’s glad when I’m at school and out of her hair.
(Eddie looks strangely at him.) (He laughs.) Just kidding! Yeah, she worries,
but she lives on an Irish clock where everything moves slower, so a few minutes
more won’t kill her…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(They walk quickly toward
home, Jerry talking up a blue streak, Eddie listening halfheartedly, as lights
fade.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Scene 2: <i>As the
scene opens Eddie returns from school and enters the kitchen through the open
back door to see his mother scurrying around, preparing to clean the cupboards.
It is about 3: 30.</i> <i>He closes the door
on the way in.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">5<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You’re late! …OK, put down you bag, take off your
jacket and let’s re-paper this shelf. First, I want you to take all the dishes
and cups off the shelf, then tear off the old paper and dust off the shelf a
bit. It’s too high for me to climb up there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Hi to you too, mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (rushes to him and gives him a big kiss) I’m sorry
but we don’t have a lot of time. Dad gets home for supper about 5: 30, so we
have to do this now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: It couldn’t wait until the weekend?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: No. There’s shopping and other errands to run on
Saturday, Mass on Sunday and then Grandma’s for supper…we have to do it NOW.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: OK, OK. (He takes off jacket, enters bedroom and
throws it on his bed. The bedroom is right off the kitchen. He comes back into
the kitchen and gets up on one of the chairs. He takes a fair to moderate pile
of plates in his hands and almost drops them.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Be careful! Take two at a time. You’re less likely
to break them that way. (Eddie knows how strict his mother is, and so follows
her orders to avoid any more complaining. He moves the plates, hands them to
her, and she stacks them up on the table.) How was school today?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Not bad. I have a book report and the outline for
my science project, both due next Wednesday. I guess I’ll be studying all
weekend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: See! That’s why we have to do this job NOW. What
book are you reading?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I’m not sure. I may pick one I read last summer.
That way, all I have to do is write the report…maybe that biography of Lou
Gehrig.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You hate baseball. I don’t get it. Why do you like
that book so much?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">6<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I think it’s because Lou really loved doing what
he did, and when he couldn’t do it as well anymore… I felt sorry for him. I
wanted to see him defeat the disease, but he just couldn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You have a loving soul just like Babe. (Her eyes
start to fill up with tears. Babe was her younger sister who died from heart
disease. Eddie never knew her.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I wish I had known Aunt Babe. She died so young. (pause)
Did you call Aunt Mary and ask her to go
to the Ice Capades with us?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (wiping away tears) I asked Aunt Marge. Mary is
too busy with work and babysitting Mo’s twins. Her grandkids mean everything to
her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Aunt Marge will not like the show as much as Aunt
Mary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: What is it with you and Aunt Marge?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: She’s just not fun to be around. She’s always
watching… and waiting… for me to do something wrong, so she can criticize me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: OK, we’ve got the plates. Now (She pauses to
survey the shelf.) … the cups to the left, one at a time. Be careful! Oh, by the way, your father and I have decided
to low key Christmas this year. We don’t have a lot to spend, so think of one
special thing that you want, and that’s it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Before he has a chance to answer, Aunt Marge knocks on
the back door and comes in immediately.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: I told you I would help you with the shelves tomorrow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Eddie is doing just fine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: (She looks.) Mmmm…I have a system that works much
more efficiently. (She sits at the table and watches like a hawk.) Hi, Eddie!
How’s school?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Tres bien. J’ai recu un A en francais!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">7<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: (She looks confused, but nods.) OK. (to Delia) I
got a call from my pal Helen in Long Island. She said they’re suffering through
10 inches of snow. I’m so glad I moved here last summer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: We get snow here too. Remember those snow ball
fights when we were kids? It’s supposed to start by early tomorrow morning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Good! I hope we have a foot or more; then I won’t
have to do my report and project outline until after Thanksgiving. (He tears
old paper off shelf and hands it to his mother.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: OK, smartypants…what makes you think that they’ll
cancel school?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Wishful thinking. (He points to his head and
almost slips off the chair.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: Be careful! No place for clumsiness where good
china is concerned. (Eddie ignores her as best he can.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: I’m going to have to fix something for Dave soon.
Do you want to stay for supper?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: No. I have letters to write and I need to get a
head start on my Christmas card list. (She gets up.) I’ll see you tomorrow.
Bye, Eddie! (She exits.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: OK. OK, Eddie. Let’s roll this paper down to the
end of the shelf and cut it. (She hands him the roll and a pair of scissors.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Marge comes back in as if she forgot something.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: I forgot to tell you, Del, I’ve been invited to
Helen’s for Christmas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You mean you may go back to New York?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: I don’t know. I really don’t want to, but I do
miss her and her kids. We’ll see. I’ll be here next Thursday, though…with my homemade
ginger almond stuffing. (She starts to leave, then remembers something <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">8<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">important.) Did you tell Eddie about the presents this
year? How we are all cutting back due to finances?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Yes, I surely did. He doesn’t really need much.
Just a few simple clothes, that’s all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: And if you remember, Eddie, you have that
miniature train set that you got a year or so ago. You can put that out and
pretend it’s a new gift.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Aunt Marge, I got that when I was 7.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: How old are you now?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Almost 13.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You are 12. You just turned 12 in August.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: Well, remember, Christmas is Jesus’s birthday. We
celebrate him, not ourselves. We need to remind ourselves of that every now and
then. See you tomorrow. (She finally exits.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Good, maybe she’ll go back to New York soon, and
you can ask Aunt Mary to go to the Ice Capades.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Shhhhhhhh…she may hear you. You know how she is.
She can hear right through the walls…x-ray hearing, like Superman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Speaking of <i>Superman</i>,
it’s almost time to watch the show. Is it OK if Jerry Nolan comes up to watch
with me, since they don’t have a TV set?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You mean that skinny boy downstairs? He’s older
than you! When did you become friendly with him?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: He walked home from school with me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: When did that start?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Today. He just caught up with me and we started to
talk. Ma, he lives downstairs and sings in choir on Sundays. He’s nice. I have
no one my own age to talk to. Please!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">9<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Oh…OK, it’s 4 o’clock. The show is on at 5. We
have one hour to finish here and then I have to start your father’s supper.
Make sure that paper is down nice and tight. Here, use the thumb tacks; press
one down about every inch and a half from left to right. (hands him the box of
tacks) I’ll hand you the dishes in a
minute. (She busily wipes off the dishes with a cloth.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Can I ask Jerry to come up?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: I suppose so. I really don’t like him, though.
He’s older than you and too aggressive. I’ve watched him playing kick ball in
the yard. He pushes the little kids around. He always seems to be up to some
mischief or other, but I can’t figure out what. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Ma, you don’t even know him!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: I wonder if I want to. I wish you’d find someone
your own age.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: He’s the only teen in the building. C’mon! He’s
funny and we got along great on the walk home. It would be fun to get to know
him better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: OK, OK. Ask him up. But you’ll have to run down
there. Let’s finish up first. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: He gave me his phone number. Can I call him?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (under her breath) His phone number, huh? That kid
is pushy. (pause) <i>May</i> I?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: What?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Not <i>can</i>
I! <i>May</i> I? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: May I?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Yes, you may, but not until we finish putting
these dishes and cups back up on the shelf.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(They continue working and bickering lovingly as the
lights fade.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">10<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Scene 3: <i>Living room about an hour later. Jerry Nolan
and Eddie are sitting on the floor watching Superman. Delia is in the kitchen
pan frying some chicken with garlic and onions. She shouts at the boys through
the open door.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Will you please turn the volume down a notch? It’s
too loud. Eddie, do you want to eat chicken with your dad, or wait until he
finishes?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I’ll wait until he finishes. I have to start my
math homework. I just want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, ma. No chicken,
please.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Great! There’ll be more for your dad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: That chicken smells really good. My mother never
cooks chicken. You know we’re Irish, and she sticks to beef, corned beef, or
stew with beef or lamb. We never eat chicken, burgers or hot dogs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Are you trying to tell me you’d like to stay for
supper?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Oh, no. I don’t want to bother your mom or dad.
It’s OK. But if you have any leftovers, save me a piece of that chicken. Look
at Superman’s baggy tights. I mean the guy obviously has a neat body…great
thighs, but you can see the padding. (He starts to laugh.) It’s so phony. I
wonder if George Reeves works out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: You mean with weights? Maybe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: He must, to build muscle. (He edges closer to
Eddie on floor and starts to flex his arms and run his hands down his body
toward his legs in an attempt to turn Eddie on.) I have a muscle magazine
downstairs. Do you ever look at them?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (He starts acting a little nervous.) No. I’ve seen
those guys at school, though, the 9<sup>th</sup> grade athletes who run naked
through the showers. They are so big and are just trying to show off. Ninth
graders really love to make 7<sup>th</sup> graders feel like crap. There’s one,
Tommy Bowler, who always slaps a towel against my butt and calls me fatty! I
hate him!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">11<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Hey, watch out! I’m in ninth grade, and I’m not
like that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: You’re the exception, that’s for sure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Do you really mean that?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I said you’re the exception, not exceptional.
There’s a difference.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Oh. (doesn’t understand a word) …You have to see <i>Muscle Monthly</i> this month. Your problem
is that you’re a little chunky, but on the right training program you could
lose that fat, tighten up and look incredible. My problem is I’m too skinny,
but like this guy in the magazine, he talks about how he built up from nothing
and has the biggest biceps I’ve ever seen, and when you look at his basket, his
shtucker is always erect as he’s pumping.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Shtucker…erect?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: You are so naïve. It’s what I like best about you.
There is so much I want to teach you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: We’re Catholic, remember? We’re not supposed to be
thinking about our bodies, except that they are temp… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Temples for the Lord. I know. I’ve sat through
that nasty catechism class too, you know. Can’t believe half the stuff that nun
threw at us!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Delia enters with a plate of cookies.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: I know I shouldn’t, it’s so close to dinner, but a
little snack can’t hurt. Jerry, why are you sitting so close to Eddie? C’mon
give him some space to breathe. (She rushes out.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I…I had an experience last week…I haven’t told
anyone. (He rushes to door to make sure it’s closed, so his mother can’t hear
him from the kitchen.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: (really plowing into cookies) What happened? You
seem really upset.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">12<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Well, I’m not as bad now as I was last week. I was
scared to death.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: C’mon. What gives? Spit it out!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I was at the library reading a couple of articles
for my social studies paper, and I didn’t realize how late it was. It was after
5, and I was afraid it would be dark soon, so I ran out of the library and up
Maple St. When I got to the end of Maple, I suddenly realized (he starts to
whisper) that there was a car following me. I looked to see if it was somebody
I knew, and I didn’t recognize the man behind the wheel. There was hardly any
traffic; his was the only car on the road going north. When he saw that I
noticed him, he slowed down almost to a crawl, and smiled at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: A perve! He was a pervert, trying to pick you up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I have never experienced anything like that
before, so I started to walk real fast, and he kept up with me, slowing down
when I slowed down. As I got closer to Beech St, I couldn’t decide what to do…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: I think you should have gotten in…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: What? He didn’t ask me in, and I didn’t want him
to… in order to confuse him, throw him off track… about which building I live
in, I ran through the Beech St. sand lot and came up the back stairs, so he
wouldn’t see me go in the front door on Sargent .<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: What are you afraid of, that he’d come back
looking for you? Guys like that just start stalking someone else. You were the
dessert of the day; when you brushed him off, he probably set his sights on
some other cute little boy on the street and followed him home. Who knows maybe
he just wanted to give you some candy or a nice ten dollar bill.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: That’s disgusting. I can’t believe that you don’t
see the serious side to this. Men like that should be locked up. He’s a menace
to society.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Call it what you will! But I could sure use a
little friendly abuse right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">13<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Like Jud Fry in <i>Oklahoma?</i> Talk about abuse! Did
you ever see that movie?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: My ma doesn’t let me go to the movies. I told you
already…she thinks American movies will have a bad effect on me. They’re too
violent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: <i>Oklahoma!</i>
is a musical film. I have the album; I listen to it all the time. Jud Fry works
on Laurie’s farm and he is this big menacing guy that everyone’s afraid of. He
is attracted to Laurie and wants to take her away from Curly, her beau.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Sounds confusing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Well, it isn’t. And do you know they’re going to
do the show at school in April, for two weekends? They’re auditioning right
before Christmas. I sure would like to go in and audition for Jud Fry. (He
mimes and sings.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Pore
Jud is daid, pore Jud Fry is daid, he’s laying in his cawfin made a wood…”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: He’s dead?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: No, that’s Curly singing about Jud. He’s wishing
he was dead, so he’d leave Laurie alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Why don’t you audition for the role? You sure can
sing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I don’t know. If I get too nervous, it’ll wreck
everything. But I’ll think about it. If I could bring you into my room, I could
play the score for you and you could hear how great it is…Rodgers and
Hammerstein…and you could audition for Ali Hakim, the Persian peddler who falls
for Ado Annie…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Those are weird sounding names. No, no acting for
me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Why? You’re funny and the peddler is funny. You’d
be a perfect match.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: <i>Funny weird</i>
or <i>funny haha</i>?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">14<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Haha! (He
laughs.) You make me laugh all the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (barging in) Jerry, time to go home! And you
Eddie, why didn’t you tell me about that man in the car last week?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Ma, <i>Superman</i>
isn’t over yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: I don’t care. (She goes over to TV set and turns
it off.) Go home, Jerry! (Jerry leaves in a hurry, but grabs another couple of
cookies before he goes.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Ma, why were you listening?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: It’s a mother’s job to listen. I don’t want you to
invite him up here. He’s a bad influence on you. And you had better start
taking the bus home from the library. I don’t want you walking alone out there,
especially toward evening. It’s too dangerous. God, what’s our world coming to?
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(She blesses herself on the way out of the living room.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Oh, by the way, I think you should audition for
the musical. It’d be good practice for you. Good experience!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(She leaves Eddie in a complex mood. He gets up, walks
over to the window and looks out. Still upset about his mother’s interruption,
he crosses to couch, picks up a book from the coffee table and starts to read,
as lights fade.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Scene 4: <i>About an hour has passed. Eddie is still
reading in the living room, and Delia and Dave are eating supper in the
kitchen.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: What happened to the steak you told me you were
going to cook?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: We need to get some steaks when we go shopping on
Saturday. What’s wrong with that chicken?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: When a man works hard all day, he doesn’t want to
come home to chicken and pasta. He needs a steak and baked potato.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">15<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: What’s wrong with you tonight?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: Nothing is wrong. (He is obviously irritated.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: We have to decide about Christmas presents. (She
makes sure door to living room is closed, so Eddie can’t hear.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: I thought we said no presents this year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: We agreed on small things, but we didn’t say <i>nothing</i>. We have to get him <i>something</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: I already got him two miniature town buildings for
the train set. He should have almost a complete town at this point.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: I think he’s feeling a little old for that train
set.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: What do you mean too old? A boy should admire his
trains all his life. I wish I had been lucky enough to have trains as a hobby.
That boy doesn’t know how lucky he is!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: He does, but he’s growing up. Things change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: He’s not growing up that much. You still pamper him
too much, letting him do things that he should not be doing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Like what?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: Like sleeping on the sofa when he wakes up in the
middle of the night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: He’s afraid of the dark.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: He’ll never be a man unless he overcomes his fears.
You have to be more firm with him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Well, when you’re not here most of the time, I
have to do everything, and that puts a lot of stress on me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">16<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: I work to support you and him. I give you
everything I’ve got. What else do you want from me?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Just a little bit of understanding sometimes. You
know I hate to say this, but you’re turning into Frank McFee. He never talks to
anyone. Even when Eddie goes over for a visit, if Grandma Alice isn’t there,
Eddie has a hard time communicating with Frank. He is closed in. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: I am nothing like my father. You know I’m sociable
to everyone. I do the best I can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Yes, dear. I know.
(pause) I wish Alice and Frank
had let us move into the first floor of their house when Aunt Sophie died. You
wanted to live there, I wanted to live there, and there was a big backyard for
Eddie to play in. Here he’s cramped into a tiny space, and life gets difficult
for all of us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: It didn’t work out. I don’t know why.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You said your mother told you that Frank didn’t
want a small child to be living in the house. It would make things too noisy
and uncomfortable. Isn’t that what she said?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: Yes, but what’s the use of rehashing all of this.
It didn’t work out; that’s that. The fact is we have a 12 year-old son who
needs more discipline regardless of where he’s living.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: I’ll try not to let him sleep on the sofa.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: Yes, especially with that other problem that he
has.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: He can’t help that. Doctors can’t suggest anything
to control it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: The damndest thing. A bed wetter! Where did he get
that from? It never ran in my family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Not in mine either. No one knows what causes it. He
can’t help it. Let’s change the subject. What are we going to do about
Christmas?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">17<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Eddie overhears his parents arguing and starts to get
worked up.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: (very irritated) I’ve gotten him the miniature
buildings. Buy him the clothes he needs; that’s it! (pause) Maybe if you didn’t
spend so much of the money I bring in here, there would be more steak for
dinner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: There is nothing wrong with that chicken.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: (In a sudden fit of rage, he hurls the plate
against the wall, pasta streams down making a mess, and there is food everywhere.)
(very angry) That’s what that chicken is good for. It’s waste. It is not
sufficient food for a hard-working man.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (crying) What is wrong with you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: I’m going to lie down to take a nap. Get him out of
the parlor, so I can have some privacy. (Their bedroom faces the parlor, so when
Eddie is there, the bedroom is exposed. The only way to block it off is to
close the French doors, and one of them has been broken for years.
Consequently, when anyone is in the living room, they can see into the bedroom.
When company comes, Delia usually puts up a large Chinese folding screen to
separate the bedroom from the living room.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (bursting into the kitchen) I want you to stop
arguing, especially over me. I don’t want anything for Christmas. (He starts to
cry, and his words build to a fever pitch.) This is usually the best time of
the year, but ... I’m beginning to hate it, because of you. Please stop
fighting! Dad, go take a nap! I’ll do my homework in my room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Dave exits to bedroom without saying a word; Eddie goes
into his and slams door, leaving Delia alone at the kitchen table. Eddie plays <i>Oklahoma!</i> real loud on his stereo. Dave
screams from his bedroom.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: Turn off that infernal music! How is a man supposed
to get any rest around here?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Delia begins to
cry as the lights fade.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">18<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Scene
5: It is Friday shortly after noon. Snow is coming down quite hard, and Delia
is taking a nap. Eddie is home from school due to the storm and is terribly
anxious. He goes to the phone to call Jerry. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Hi, it’s me. Can you come up and play checkers? I
need some company. You will. Oh, great! (He hangs up.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Jerry has literally bolted up the back stairs. When
Eddie sees him, he is overjoyed. He opens the back door.) Shhhhhh! My mother is
taking a nap. Let’s play at the kitchen table. I’ll get the board.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Do you think I could have a few of these chips?
I’m starving. My mother is cooking a corned beef and told me I can’t eat until
my dad gets home for supper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Sure. Help yourself! My mom has another bag in the
cupboard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: You sounded real down on the phone. What happened?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (He starts to set up board to play the game. Jerry
helps.) My dad got out of control last night. He got so mad at my mom that he
threw his plate against the wall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Wow! I guess fake dads in books and movies do that
all the time. But, your dad did that for real?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Yes. It was scary. I think he’s unhappy with me.
He hardly ever talks to me. Did you ever see <i>Streetcar Named Desire</i>? Oh, I forgot. You don’t watch movies. The
church condemned it, so when I tried to watch it with my mom one night on TV,
she sent me to my room. She wouldn’t let me see it, but I kept the door cracked
a little so I could watch. Marlon Brando plays this big strappin’ dude who likes
to push his wife Stella around. He’s kind of like Jud Fry in <i>Oklahoma!</i> …that I told you about. He has
his shirt off a lot. You’d really like him. (Jerry perks up, as if keenly
interested.) Well, there’s this scene at the dinner table, and he gets so mad
at Stella and her sister Blanche, a real weird lady who’s visiting, that he
throws the dinner plate against the wall, and both women get really scared.
It’s terrifying. I watched <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">19<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">the whole movie one night when my parents were downstairs
playing cards. I didn’t tell my mom I watched it, though. I’d have to go to
confession. (pause) I can’t believe my dad did that. He didn’t seem to care. He
didn’t even apologize to my mother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Did he hit your mom?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Oh, no. I pray that will never happen…but, I’m
scared, Jerry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: (into the game) I got’ ya. (He jumps over two
checkers.) You lose two. I guess you aren’t concentrating. (to Eddie) I’m
sorry…Look, don’t be scared. Just…be cool.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I handled it pretty well. I told my dad to go lie
down, but what if it happens again? (Jerry puts his hand on Eddie’s arm. For
the first time, Eddie doesn’t move it away. They stare at each other. Jerry
leans over slowly. Their heads come close together as if they want to kiss each
other, when suddenly Delia yells from the bedroom and disrupts the moment.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Eddie, are you talking to somebody? Who’s out
there? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: No one, ma! It’s just the radio. Go back to sleep!
(He whispers to Jerry.) You’d better go. I don’t want her to see you here.
She’ll get upset.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: OK, but call me… if you need me. (Jerry quietly
leaves by the back door. Eddie picks up the checkers and board and starts to
hum “I Whistle a Happy Tune” from <i>The
King and I</i> as the lights fade.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Scene 6: <i>It is
three days later, Monday of Thanksgiving week, November 24. It is snowing hard
and Eddie has been out of school since Friday, due to the blizzard. Delia and
Marge are sitting at the kitchen table chatting over a cup of tea. Eddie paces
around the living room, goes into his bedroom and comes out again, restless
from being cooped up.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Did you do your book report?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Why? I won’t have school until next week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">20<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You don’t know that. It may stop snowing… (she
snaps her fingers) …like that! It’s due Wednesday, so go and do it. Stay
organized like I taught you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (reluctantly) OK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: He’s usually not this restless. Being shut in for
three days…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: He’s a boy…but he’ll be a teenager soon. It’s the
worst age, believe me! I’ve been through it twice. You’ll have to worry about
girls and dating. Thank God, mine both became priests.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: That’s a few years down the line.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: Time flies. Watch him like a hawk and make sure he
knows all about…(She whispers.) …the facts of life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Oh, that’ll be my department too. Dave is never around.
That’s his excuse. It’s always my responsibility.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: I thought Dave only worked nights up at the
amusement park during the summer months. What’s keeping him so busy now? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: He helps his buddy Al run a concession stand in
the Springfield coliseum three nights a week. That’s how he got the tickets for
the Ice Capades. He likes to keep busy, and the money sure does come in handy.
We wouldn’t have a summer vacation without it. And the upkeep of the car…is so
expensive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: That’s what I love about New York. You don’t need
a car. You jump on a subway or take a bus or taxi … to go everywhere. So much
easier!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Do you miss it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: Yeah, I mean it’s nice here…quiet, but I don’t
have as many opportunities to go out in the evenings. After Joe died, my friend
Helen <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">21<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">made me go to the Stardust to dance. It was hard at
first, but I got to love it. It’s nice just to get out and meet people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Did you start dating again?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: No, not really. I’d just go to dance. You and Dave
never go out… dancing, do you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: No, Dave doesn’t dance. He hates the movies. Something
like the Ice Capades suits him, but 95% of the time, he likes to work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: What does he do for you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: What do you mean?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: You need to be alone together. No romance? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Oh no. Those days are long gone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: Too bad. They shouldn’t be. You’re too young. We all
need attention… affection. (long pause) Why don’t you wear a little makeup? It
would highlight your lovely face. Use eyeliner; it will bring out your eyes. Do
your hair differently. Put a rinse in; wash out the grey! Get a new dress!
Something daring that makes him see what he’s been missing. Surprise him. Maybe
he will take more notice of you; you’ll spend more quality time together and…
things will be different…and wonderful again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Oh, no. That’s just not possible. And I can’t
believe that you would encourage me to change the way I look. God wanted me to
stay home and be a mother, and a mother I will stay. Plain suits me just fine.
(She sighs.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: There’s nothing wrong with being a mother who
wears make-up and puts on a nice dress; you have to devote more time to
yourself. I wish you and Dave had moved to New York a long time ago. You would
have had more chances for a singing career; there’s so much more to explore
there. It would have been great for Eddie too. (long pause) Have you ever
thought of leaving Dave?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">22<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: No (confused)…<b>No!
</b>(adamantly)…Marge, I’m shocked. How can a good Catholic leave her husband?
Are you talking divorce? He’s given me no reason for divorce. He’s a good man.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: No, no. A separation of sorts is helpful every
once in a while… to spice things up. If Dave thought you were going to make a
change in your arrangement, he would be more attentive…That’s all. (She sighs looking out.) Look at that snow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Did you ever separate from Joe? When his drinking
got especially bad?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: No, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it.
(changing subject) I’d better get back to my cooking. I already started a cake for
Thursday. You wanted apple spice, didn’t you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You’re already bringing the stuffing, but sure the
cake will be great. I (whispers) bought a pumpkin torte at the Yankee Pedlar
too. (her fetish)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: Yummy! (gets up and goes) See you later! (blows her a
kiss)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (coming into the kitchen) Who is coming for
Thanksgiving? Why aren’t we going to Grandma and Grandpa’s like last year?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Because Grandpa Frank isn’t feeling up to doing
any work. They work together when they prepare that meal. Grandma will come
here. Dad will go over and pick her up. If Grandpa is up to it, he’ll come too,
but I doubt it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I’ll miss Grandma, her house… <i>and</i> her cooking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: She’ll make a pie. And Aunt Marge is making an
apple cake too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: But Grandma’s house always smells so wonderful at
Thanksgiving. It isn’t the same here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Well, excuse me. I do the best I can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: How big a turkey did you get?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">23<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: 25 pounds. Should be enough for all of us, with
leftovers for your father’s lunch… sandwiches for you and him for at least a
week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Is Aunt Marge making that awful stinky stuffing?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Yes, but I’m also making my own. Stove Top with
lots of baked in sausage the way you like it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Thanks, mom. (long pause) Why can’t everyone be
happier this year?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Where did that question come from?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I don’t know. Dad went berserk the other night.
Aunt Marge is always complaining; so is Grandpa. It would be nice if all of us
had a happy Thanksgiving this year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: I think we will.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I doubt it. Too many disgruntled people at one table!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (She laughs.) <i>Disgruntled</i>?
Where did you get that word?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Vocabulary list at school. Miss Coffey makes us
write a sentence for every word on the list. She loved my sentence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: What did you write? Do you remember?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: <i>There are too
many disgruntled folks in my family to considerate it a cohesive unit.</i> She
liked the sentence because I used two of the words in it. <i>Disgruntled</i> … and <i>cohesive</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: It’s great, but I hope she doesn’t think you’re
talking about <i>your</i> family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: What difference does it make? You always insist
that I tell the truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (She looks heavenward.) Saints preserve us, it isn’t
easy being a parent. Damned if I do; damned if I don’t!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">24<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: What do you mean?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: I want you to tell the truth but I don’t want you
spreading gossip about our family. It’s no one’s business how Grandpa is
feeling or how much Aunt Marge whines.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: But she does…and entirely too much. How did her
kids stand her growing up? No wonder Jim and Roger became priests. How long has
Jim been in the Franciscan order? Since he was 16? I’m not surprised. He had to
get away from her and that drunken Uncle Joe. Yikes!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: That is no way to talk about them. Joe had his
good points. He loved you and was always very nice to you when you visited them
on Long Island.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but his breath always stank from
booze. And he used to love to give me a big hug and wet smooch. Yuck! I guess
it’s easy to see why she became the way she did. Living with him made her that
way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You know I’m starting to see a side to you that I
don’t like. You have far too much to say and far too many nasty opinions about
everything. I hate to think what you say about me behind my back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: You’re safe. You hold up pretty well, but I don’t
think you should let dad get away with what he did the other night. That was
uncalled for. I thought he was going to hit you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: He would never do that. No one in our family has
ever done that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: You don’t think Uncle Joe abused Aunt Marge when
he was drunk? I saw him curse her out plenty of times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: But he never laid a hand on her, and your father
would never lay a hand on me. He was just having a bad night. That’s all. It’s
OK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Can I, I mean, may I call Jerry and ask him to
come up for a game of checkers? I’m so bored.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">25<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: I told you I don’t want you to bother with him.
He’s not the right kind of friend for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: OK, find me a friend, and I’ll stop calling Jerry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Look, I have a little time before I fry your
father’s steak. I’m going into the bedroom to say a rosary. May I have a little
privacy for just a half hour, please?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Yes, mother. Why do you and Aunt Marge always have
to say a rosary in the middle of a conversation? I mean I can understand it
with her, her sons are priests. But you? What good does the rosary do?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Listen, mister, the rosary means a lot to me.
Prayer means a lot to me. It gets me through my life, and it wouldn’t hurt you
one single bit to say a few prayers yourself. Talk to God! He listens.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: It’s a bunch of crap! Sister Martha tells us that
God is good, but I don’t believe it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: What??<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I know you don’t want to hear this, but I’m having
some problems with religion, with God, right now. I think he hates me. I get laughed
at in the locker room at school because I’m overweight. I ask God to have them
stop it. But they don’t. He doesn’t listen. They keep picking on me and calling
me names.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: He listens to you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: No he doesn’t. And you’re a goddamn fool to believe
he’s even up there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (incredulous) <i>What
did you say?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: You heard me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: What?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">26<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (He screams at the top of his lungs.) I hate him …
and I think you’re a goddamn foolish bitch to believe in him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: What??? Wait ‘til your father comes home. You’ll
be punished for this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I hate you! I hate you! And I hate God!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Both of them are very emotionally distraught. She
retreats to the bedroom to her rosary. He runs into his bedroom and slams the
door. Shortly, music is heard coming from his room. The stereo is blasting the
overture from <i>The Most Happy Fella!</i>) (In
a few minutes, Dave comes in the front door covered with snow, brushing himself
off.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (She rushes to him in the hall.) Eddie went out of
control. He told me he hated God and he hated me. I want you to talk seriously
to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Eddie has heard his father come in, turns off the stereo,
then bolts through his bedroom door, runs through the living room and flies
under the bed in his parents’ bedroom, cowering. Dave sees him, removes the
belt from his pants and chases him into the bedroom.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Dave, be gentle! Don’t hit him! Talk to him!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: Get out from under that bed! Get out here like a
man and apologize to your mother!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (hysterically crying) Ma, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean
it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: I said get out here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(When Eddie does not respond, Dave ducks under the bed
and pulls Eddie out by the leg, Eddie screams at the top of his lungs. Once out
from under the bed, Dave turns him over and pelts him about ten times across
his butt with the belt.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now go to your room. Stay there… without supper! (Eddie
runs.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">27<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Delia is weeping. Dave has a look of pride on his face,
as he belts his pants.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What’s for supper?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Steak and pan fried potatoes. (He guides Delia to
the kitchen. He sits down and she prepares his meal. Eddie can be heard
whimpering from his bedroom, as the lights fade.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Scene 7: <i>It is Thanksgiving Day, about noon. The blizzard
is over, having left over a foot of snow on the ground. Delia has just removed
the turkey from the oven. Aunt Marge and Dave are in the living room chatting
as they watch the end of the Macy’s Parade on TV. Delia knocks on Eddie’s door.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: We’ll be eating in about a half hour, as soon as
the turkey cools and can be carved. Can you hear me, Eddie?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(There is no response from Eddie’s room. “Something
Wonderful” from <i>The King and I</i> is playing
softly on the stereo.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aunt Marge: Where is Grandma Alice?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: She is staying home with Grandpa Frank. Dave will drive
over later with their dinner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aunt Marge: Eddie? Where’s Eddie?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: He’s in his room studying.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aunt Marge: Studying? OnThanksgiving Day? He’s been out
of school since Friday. He’s had a whole week to study.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: Eddie hasn’t been feeling very good. He’s got a
cold or something and has been avoiding contact with most of us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aunt Marge: Mmmmm…I know when something’s not right. I
also heard him screaming the other day and then crying. What’s going on?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Under the weather is all. He’ll be out here for
dinner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">28<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(The phone rings. Grandma Alice is calling to wish
everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. Delia answers the phone.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Hi, Grandma! …HappyThanksgiving to you and Grandpa
too! Yes, he is. I’ll call him. Eddie, Grandma wants to talk with you. Eddie!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Eddie comes out of his room slowly, very reluctantly and
takes the phone from Delia.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Hi, Gramma! Happy Thanksgiving to you too! Miss
you! Miss the smell of the apple pie and the pumpkin pie … Oh, you will? Oh,
that’s great! I can’t wait! Yes, I’ll put him on. (He doesn’t look at his father.)
She wants to talk with her son. (He lays down the receiver on the hall table.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: (picking up receiver) Hi, mom! Yes, I’ll be over
with dinner in a couple of hours… You did? We didn’t expect you to make pies.
Everyone will be so pleased. Say hi to dad for us. I’ll see you around 4 o’clock.
(hangs up) Well, Grandma made apple, squash and mince pies for us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Come to the table, everyone! Let’s feast and give
thanks for all our blessings. Eddie, sit next to Aunt Marge please! Aunt Marge,
will you say grace? (Dave carves the turkey - ignoring grace.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aunt Marge: Dear God, thank you for this wonderful food,
for the companionship of this great family and for all your daily acts of
kindness on our behalf. And bless all the less fortunate ones, who do not have
a roof over their heads, or the abundance of a good meal that we have. Amen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: And bless Grandma and Grandpa, who cannot be with
us, but still keep us in their thoughts . Amen. Imagine, she still baked pies!
She sure knows how to make a good pie. I’ll give her that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Is that all, mother? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Is what all?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Gramma gets praised… only for her pies? We do kind
of love her for other things too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">29<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (looks at Eddie in a very complicated way, knowing
that he has really changed since Monday’s episode.) That goes without saying.
She’s a dandy woman, your Grandma, and we all miss her today. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aunt Marge: The turkey is so moist and flavorful, Del.
Where did you get your cranberry? It’s better than Ocean Spray...so tangy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: It’s a little secret. (she whispers) I made my
own…added <i>fresh</i>…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (interrupts) I promised Jerry that he could come
up for dessert.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: I thought I told you…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (interrupting) …that you didn’t want me to see him
anymore. Well, what do you think God would think about that on Thanksgiving
Day? How can we turn our neighbor away on a holiday? It just wouldn’t be nice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aunt Marge: Do I know this Jerry?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: He lives downstairs; sings in choir with me every
Sunday. You’ve seen him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aunt Marge: Oh, yes, that rather tall, odd-looking chap.
God is surely looking out for him…and so should we on Thanksgiving. Why didn’t
you ask him up for dinner?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: He’s having dinner with his parents and sister.
But they don’t have turkey. They’re native Irish and stick to their own customs
and delicacies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aunt Marge: When in Rome. Irish or not, we’re all Americans.
We should respect the custom of eating turkey onThanksgiving Day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Do you think God will be upset with the Nolans
because they are different? Don’t you think God should accept them for who they
are? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aunt Marge: (She
glares at Delia.) What’s going on here? Is he talking back? I will not stand
for backtalk of any kind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">30<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (looks at Dave, then at Eddie) Eddie, what is this
game we’re playing? (She refuses to let him answer; immediately to Marge) It’s
just another phase he’s going through. It’s not you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: What do you mean, mother? I’m just defending God.
Isn’t that what you want me to do? He loves every one of us the same.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: Let’s keep it cool, Eddie. Watch your attitude! We’re
not going to fight today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I wouldn’t dream of it, dad. I think we should all
pretend to be happy, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s the way it’s going to
be. May I be excused? I’ve finished.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You’ve hardly touched a bite.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I need to diet anyway. You’re always getting after
me to cut my portions in half.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Did you eat your spinach?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Yup. I feel as fit and peachy keen as Popeye.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You’re excused.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (giving a
thumbs up) Nice stuffing, Aunt Marge. It really tasted extra special…good
today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: (to Eddie) You’ve never liked it before. You know,
your politeness is getting on my nerves. God knows when you are lying. (to
Delia and Dave) You are letting him get away with much too much here. It’s like
he’s taken control of you; his attitude is a disgrace. (She gets up from table.)
If you’ll excuse me, I’m going home to call Jim and Roger, then to lie down. I
have a headache.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Marge, please stay…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Marge: No! I have calls to make to those who really
appreciate me. (she goes past Eddie and glares at him on the way out) And you,
young man, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">31<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">need to learn some respect for your elders. (She goes out
coolly, never looking back but giving Delia a wave with her hand in the air.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (raises his arms as if in disbelief) What’s up
with her? I even paid her a compliment about that lousy stuffing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Aunt Marge is right about your attitude. Inexcusable!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: (mumbles to himself) Damned if I do; damned if I
don’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: What?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: If I act out, you punish me; if I try to be nice
or fair, I get yelled at. What’s the point of trying to be sociable?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(There’s a knock at the door. Eddie goes and opens it.
Jerry is standing there.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Am I too early?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: (interrupting) Come in, Jerry. Would you like to
join us for a turkey dinner? Eddie tells us your parents don’t have turkey
today. We have plenty. Would you like to eat with us? (She gets up and fixes
him a plate.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: Well, ah, sssure!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Jerry and I want to watch the <i>I Love Lucy</i> reruns special. May he take his plate into the living
room? I promise we’ll be careful and not spill anything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Use a folding table. (She gives a plate to Jerry,
who then begins to eat from it with his fingers.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: This is really tasty gravy and mashed potatoes
Mrs. McFee. Thank you so much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: You’re welcome. Enjoy! We’ll call you boys for
dessert. Pumpkin torte, Eddie, your favorite!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: It’s not on my diet, ma!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">32<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: Why are you letting him get away with this? He has
had a rotten attitude toward all of us since he got out of bed this morning.
Marge is right; he’s far too fresh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Delia: Leave him be…for now! He’ll come to his senses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dave: When it’s too late. Give in to him, that’s all you
ever do. (They sit in silence.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Eddie and Jerry go into the living room. Eddie turns on
the TV set and finds the channel for <i>Lucy</i>.
Jerry plunges into the meal like he has never eaten before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I don’t know what I’m going to do, Jerry. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: What do you mean?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I had a dream last night. I dreamed that a space
ship landed, beckoned me in and beamed me up. I was the only person on board.
But…I didn’t have to do anything. Some invisible force was controlling the ship.
There was a voice that told me to sit down, to eat and to enjoy anything I
wanted. The voice said it would tell me when we landed in California.
“California?” I asked, “I’ve always wanted to go to California.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: What happened next?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I don’t know. I woke up in a cold sweat. I can’t
stand it here anymore, Jerry. My parents don’t love me. Hell, I don’t think
they love each other. It’s all a pretense, a big lie. They’re always fighting,
and I don’t want to be in the middle of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: What’s happened to you? I thought you were so
happy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: Not after what happened Monday. I got angry with
my mom, and I just exploded. Everything I was feeling came gushing out of me. I
told her off. I told her I hated God and that I hated her for forcing him on me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: What? Are you insane?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">33<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eddie: I don’t know where I’m going. Yet there’s a part
of me that feels so… different, liberated, free. I’m not hungry for food, but,
I want to taste… other things. I can’t describe it. Like a bird whose wing was
broken, and now it’s suddenly mended… and he can fly again. Except, I’ve never
experienced flight; it’s my first time… but I’m not scared; I want to try. I
just want to take off and explore...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jerry: (putting his plate down and edging closer to
Eddie) Well, I have always wanted to take you to the moon. Do you really think
you’re ready?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Eddie checks to see that both doors are closed, so no
one will come in to disturb them.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Jerry starts to rub his hand against Eddie’s chest, then
slowly down to his navel and then completely down his right leg, only stopping
long enough to feel his member. Eddie gets excited. Jerry returns to his
member, rubs it a few times, and then slowly puts his hand inside Eddie’s
pants. He rubs his member a few times more, Eddie eventually moans and comes…
to ecstatic satisfaction. Jerry leans over as if to kiss Eddie on the lips.
From the kitchen Delia yells…)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Boys, time for dessert. Come and get it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(They kiss sweetly and tenderly, as the lights fade.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Finis.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Don Grigwarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08891105796912621378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6846241492224861640.post-12022447083935324692016-05-04T22:19:00.002-07:002016-05-04T22:37:03.231-07:00Holiday MadnessThis blog is dedicated to my trio of one-act plays <b><i><span style="color: red;">Holiday Madness</span></i></b>, published at CreateSpace on Amazon.com<br />
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